Border-less

Even though my little girl is perfect, I am most certainly not. Many a times I have had self doubts if in some ways, knowingly or unknowingly, my upbringing is somehow messing her up. I've had inner fears; fears that I usually don't voice. Wondering if something I am doing, or not doing, is spoiling this perfect little thing I am blessed to have.

I grew up in India. There's a slang term in India- ABCD- American Born Confused Desis. It's a term used for Indians who're born in the US. They're labeled as confused because they seem Indian but they're not- they're niether Indian nor American. When my little girl was born, I knew then, she will not be confused. She's born in the US, and due to that, she is an American. 

But, this has a lot to do with personal choices of parents as well. I do not see people as Indians and Americans any more. I see people (and strive to see people) as people and not boxed-in replicas of their communities. For good or for worse my own ties with India have weakened as I rarely eat, dress or talk Indian. 

Some may argue this to be the case of lost identity, but I feel the significance of personal choices means more to me than membership in communities of shared glorified pasts. To me, being me does not mean I have to cook Indian food, eat Indian food, listen to Indian music, watch Indian movies, talk in Indian language or revel in perceived Indian family values. I was not doing several of those things even when I was in India. 

But even so, I wonder if not indoctrinating the little girl in Indian culture is somehow depleting her of her rightful 'roots'. 

I wondered this week when the little girl wanted to go to Indian restaurant to have her favorite meal. She loves Indian food( the one that does not involve vegetables). Since she was born I rarely cook Indian food. Am I depriving her then, I wondered. But on the other hand, I mused, she does like some of my music- which is not Indian. She loves several rock songs that I like. We've heard her sing Clapton's "I shot the sheriff" by herself several times. But what I think is really funny is another favorite of hers'. 

One of her favorites songs, which is also one of my favorites- is La Grange by ZZ Top. The song is about a house of 'ill repute' near a town called La Grange in Texas. I think it's funny in a good humored sort of way that she should like such a song- for the same reason that I like the song- great music, of course. And I just hope if she remembers this song when she's 25 and she finds out what the song is really about; she chuckles thinking about her mom's choice in songs as well! 

There are some things that are without borders- good music, good food and good people. Let's keep it that way.