The Sweet and Innocent

Little miss Haana was looking at a Christmas tree ornament this evening and she got all teary eyed. "I'll tell you when we are in bed", she said to me.

But, what if you forget?

What if you fall asleep? 

All my questions got the same answer.. "I wouldn't ".

Our Christmas tree has lots of ornaments. Some of them are traditional christmas ornaments. Some are small craft projects we've done over the years. The one little miss Haana was looking at was a craft project she did in kinder, a big peppermint candy with a picture of her 3 year old face smiling back.

She told me that when she looked at the picture of herself when she was 3, she looked so young, innocent and sweet. And now (all of 9!), she feels she's none of those things. She feels like she goes a little crazy sometimes and feels angry and mad and sad at times. And none of those things are sweet and innocent. 

Sometimes i wonder at this girl! I joke with her when she can't find things directly in front of her, that she got buttons for eyes. But, really, can she not see at all what i see when I look at her? This amazing, incredible, special person.. my golden girl! Can she not see how amazing she is! How can she not see it! This creative, ingenious, unique, courageous, outstanding person that she is.. everytime i think about it, i wonder how on God's green earth can such an amazing person be created. And i know 2 of such amazing people.. there's the little boy too!

Sometime back little miss Haana had asked me a curious question - was Einstein mostly genius or mostly crazy? And my answer was, sometimes its the same thing. You have to be crazy to bring into this world discoveries or creations that are so far removed from the norms we are used to. It is the same for very creative people, artists, musicians.. who created something that decades or centuries later, we still appreciate. They were crazy then, in their time, what we now recognize was their genius. 

I reminded little miss Haana of that conversation and told her this- sometimes big, forceful feelings and being extremely driven, creative and courageous are 2 sides of the same thing. Those huge forceful feelings can lead you to creative leaps that a logical tame mind cannot reach. But they can also lead you to go all crazy sometimes, too angry or too mad and out of control. The key is to understand and observe your self and learn what works for you and what doesn't. It is hard, of course. Its easier if your feelings are more easily controlled or tamer. It is very hard to control powerful forceful feelings, and sometimes that is not even possible. That is ok. Realize who you are, and give yourself some grace. 

In the quiet of the bedroom I can understand what she's saying perfectly. Partly because i live through her frustrations too. She had to have inherited her big giant impulsive untameable feelings from somewhere! If she doesn't crush herself with judgements or attempts at pleasing others, she can actually use them to soar. 

Fly!

Mobility

My Bobby boy is now fully mobile. And too much so. 

We have had almost the entire living area cordoned off with gates, where he can play and be safe in. We call it his "jungle"! This has worked splendidly for last several weeks, but now things are changing. Bobby boy doesn't like being in his Jungle anymore. He feels he's navigated all the paths and looked under all the pillows. He needs to cover some new ground. 'Besides, how unfair, other people get to roam around freely, and only I end up in this Jungle', he must think. So after a great deal of fussing I have started letting him roam about. It's not easy at all..

While he roams the land, he gets into mischief. He heads first towards the christmas tree, and tastes a few christmas ornaments. He tries to swallow a big ornament till is all slobbery. 'Look at this! Its so colorful and shiny! Why doesn't it taste like anything? Maybe i should check all sides to make sure. Still no taste. How odd. But i like the shiny, come into my mouth now!'.

Then he finds some fat green things on the window sill. 'They don't look like the thin green things i've tasted before'. The thin green things were the christmas tree leaves. Soon i found my house plants helter skelter, excavated a leaf from inside his mouth, and mud on his hands. Somehow, i rescued my plants, cleared the broken leaves and soil, tried to shove the poor plant roots back into the soil and take them to safety. Time will tell if the poor plants live to tell the tale. 

While i was dealing with those damages, Bobby boy was gone. I soon found out where. 'Look, is there! Can't believe I found it! It's that thing that sticks to the bottom of Papa. It looks so soft and fussy and tasty. I'm coming to you tasty thing. Quiet. Nobody will notice us!'. After a few moments of quiet, i looked around to see where he's gone. Bobby was swiftly crawling towards Raj's house slippers! He reached them and was just regarding them, turning then around in his hands before taking them to his mouth! "Noo! No eating slippers!", i said before yanking the slipper from him. And then shoving the slippers into the shoe closet and closing the door. Boy was not happy, but he found something else. 'Mumma yanked the tasty thing from me again. I like that fuzzy thing. So unf.. Wait what's that brown flat thing. Sides dont taste like anything. Maybe i can climb on them? Ya! I can. How cool. Not just flat moving anymore, now I'm tall moving too! There's more too! Let's do this one more time. I'm liking this. Mumma is right there but she's not yanking this thing from me now.'. Bobby boy is fascinated with stairs! He wants to climb them!

Never a dull moment with this boy!

Safari with the Cowgirl

Last weekend during thanksgiving break, we went to a drive thru animal wildlife preserve. The ticket includes a cup full of feed for the herbivores and one can drive-thru the preserve, throwing feed at the animals right from the car window. The animals of course are very used to the fanfare, and will readily saunter over. They said do not feed the animals by hand, throw the feed away from the car. We did that initially. But they looked so soft and furry. The oryx, the addax, the audads, antelopes, deers, gazelles, they all looked so fuzzy, I just had to touch their noses. So the next time, instead of throwing the feed, i hand fed them. Little miss Haana screamed at me, "Mumma! It said don't hand feed!". I agreed a little sheepishly. "I know.. but he doesn't know that", I said pointing to the deer outside the window. 

We saw also the emu and the ostrich. Barely got the window rolled up in time for the ostrich to peck at the glass instead of our faces! 

There were 4 little cheetah cubs. 8 months old just like my little Bobby boy baby. And super good looking those little cute cubs, also just like my Bobby boy! 

The giraffes didn't get close, which is too bad. I kind of like them. 

During the safari, we are not supposed to open the car door or get out of the car. Of course, about 20 minutes into our trip, little miss Haana had to go peepee. Its a 1 way road, so there's no real going in and out, and no pit stops. And she really had to go. 

So my first thought was, why not we open the car door real quick and she get things done right next to the car. Real quick. And then we can be on our way before anyone is any wiser. Unfortunately, they had personnel around, so we really could not open the car door at all. So that idea got crossed off. There's no way we could complete the tour that typically takes around 2 hours without her going peepee. So, i looked and found a ziplock bag that could be sealed! Unfortunately the car windows are not tinted at all, and the lady in the suv passing us by at 5mph was taking a lot of interest in what was going on inside our car. Of course she also had a vantage point, a balcony seat, so as to say! Then, with me giving suggestions from the back seat, Raj giving directions from the drivers', little miss Haana was able to get things done. There definately was a 'wet' spot on the floor in one corner on the passenger side and it wasn't because of water. But the ziplock bag was sealed, and things were looking up again. 

Little miss Haana said "I'm sorry" to her Papa. I felt so bad. "It isn't your fault", I told her. Anyone could have needed to go, and would've been in a fix. But, after having gone to poopoo in the woods and now peepee in a car, I'm definately proud of my little miss Haana! She has what it takes to take care of business(!). All we're missing is camping for her survival repertoire. But that's another day and blog post!