Vacation Plans

Raj and I were talking about our last vacation in Spain, and then we turned to future plans. Raj said maybe we can take Suhaana on a road trip in a few months. I said I already have big plans of taking her places.

I want to take her and go back to France and Spain. I want to take her to Prague - where we'd been planning on going last year but didn't - and listen to a symphony where Beethoven first performed. I want to go to Norway and her to meet her cousins. I want to go to Morocco with her too- that's the other place we were planning on going to last year but didn't. And then, when she gets older, I hope to rope-in one of her aunts to babysit her, while her Dad and I go and attend the Oktoberfest in Germany and the Tomatino festival in Spain :)

While we were talking about these future plans it struck me: Even before we realize so many dreams and hopes are born with a baby.. Before we even realize, lives are changed and dreams are born.

It reminds me of a comment one of my close friends made: we were arguing about abortion rights. I was arguing pro-choice (in places where social problems like female infanticide is not an issue). It's not like I condone abortion. But I feel it's not fair to a baby to be born to parents who don't want him/her. It should be every child's right to feel loved and wanted. To feel the warmth of loving care and affection. Why should they be subject to the cold feeling of being unwanted and a lifetime of feeling inadequate. There's research in psychology that suggests that a lot of what constitutes the inbuilt personality of a person is part of subconscious brain and develops in the first 5 year of life. And that's why the feeling of being taken care of as a child are important for the overall development of a person. But what kind of development are we talking about when even before being born, the parents don't even what the baby. Nobody should have to go through the feeling of being unwanted, least of all as a child.

It's not that I condone abortion. But parenting is difficult to get right even with best intentions and willingness. I can't imagine how wrong it could be without the love for your child to get you through the rough patches.

My friend had said, wait till you have a child of your own - you'll realize they have a distinct personality of their own before they're even born.

And that is true. While i am still pro-choice, and ironically more to protect the baby than the parents - My friend was right too: They do have a distinct personality even before they're born. And lives change at so many levels: not just what we do on a day to day basis, but down to the dreams we see with open and closed eyes and in the hopes for tomorrow. One child changes a lot!