Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Rough Nights

Last few nights have been especially rough. The little girl is getting up at 3AM like clockwork. Crying and cranky. And not ready to calm down. Tried to reassure her, we're there for her, cuddle her, pat her back to sleep, offer her pacifier, distract her with music, tried to burp her, change her diaper. Tried to get her to sleep next to me instead of the crib, offer her milk. But nothing works for longer than a minute or so. And the end of which, she's crying again. This goes on and on for more than one and half hour.

I'm pretty positive it's not hunger. Her last feeding is 11PM, and she can go much longer than 4 hours in the night without needing to get up to snack. I personally feel, she's used to sleeping on her side during the day (in her pack-n-play, during the day, she sleeps on her side propped by pillows - have ok-ed the pillows in pack-n-play since she's never unattended while she's in there. But in the crib, strictly follow the guidelines of n.o.t.h.i.n.g. in the crib for safety), and she tries to sleep on the side in the crib. But with no pillows to support this sideways sleeper, she tends to fall on her tummy and wake up sleepy and frustated.

After an hour of constant crying at 3AM, I have to say, I start loosing it. And that is, inspite of the fact that I know that small babies are just communicating a need by crying (as opposed to older kids who may be capable of throwing a tantrum). I think about it and I feel so bad for her. But, yesternight even though I was trying my best to be patient and reassuring and comforting.. Towards the end, I was loosing it. I think the little girl could sense the tension too, 'cause the poor thing cried harder. I feel so bad now when I think about it. I got her on the bed, propped her on her side using pillows, made sure she's safe and then I actually left her and walked out of the room to take a breather. She kept crying for a little bit, then fell asleep. In a minute or so, all was quiet.

For tonight, I intend to make her prop on her side in the crib (ensuring she's safe as well). I don't know how it will go tonight, but atleast I have a plan.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Tall Tales

After routinely not having much time for myself and weeks of trying to schedule time for a haircut - here I am. At my darling hairdressers' - friend of my hair for several years. At while I'm here I'm going to throw in a bonus highlight too!

Reminds me of an incident years ago. A friend of mine was telling me his daughter said she's thinking about getting lowlights done. I told him there's no such thing as lowlights (blame limited fashionista exposure at that time). He said 'No, there really is.' His daughter told him. I just laughed at him. Telling him his daughter is probably laughing at the amount of random stories she can make her dad believe. (he's used to my mean jokes, and he still talks to me!) It actually goes back to the kind of stuff I used to try to get my dad to believe. Such as: exasperated at how his slow driving, when they built a new expressway (tollway) in Delhi I tried to make him believe that the speed limit signs were for the minimum allowable speed.

I don't know how many stories Suhaana is going to come up with to blow smoke in my eyes. But I'm quite positive, in parenting, what goes around is what comes around. So I'm getting ready for some tall tales.

Grasping

These days the little girl is big into grasping - also means holding, pulling, pushing, smashing, crushing, dropping, pinching, puncturing and then, eating!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Maternity Leave

As I prepare mentally to get back into the workforce middle of next month after a break of what would be over 6 months, I hesitate. The prospect of going back to work was always there, but just locking in on a date makes it become more real and imminent. Cold feet.

But as I look at going back to work after an elected, unpaid time off, here's something for comparison: In Norway, they have 8 months of 100% paid maternity leave, with an option of extending by 6 months with 80% pay. If that feels like an anomaly then Sweden has 436 days of combined maternity and paternity leave.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Doubts

This lady who used to work as a nanny /babysitter at another place was telling me about how well the baby (at her previous work place) used to eat. It seems he used to finish 8 bottles of milk by mid morning. And used to eat a variety of foods quite enthusiastically. He was chubby, round and oh so cute!

All this talk about cute, cuddly, chubby babies planted a seed of doubt in my mind. Just last week Raj had asked me, should our little girl be bigger and/or rounder and/or chubbier? I had shrugged at that point, saying she's just fine. Most of the time people (close friends and family) don't necessarily know what they're asking for. And her doctor says she has been doing just fine. So, I had shrugged his concern saying she's just fine.

But as this lady was talking about all the bottles of milk and variety of foods that this other baby, who is actually younger than this little girl, is devouring; I have self doubts.. Should we be giving her a bunch of other things to eat too? So far she's been only on liquid diet. Should she be drinking more? Is she not getting enough fat in her diet?

But then I look at her and she seems just so perfect. It's one thing to be taking decisions for yourself and be sure you're doing the right thing. It's quite another to be responsible for this little peanut, and be sure that every decision is the best there is. I'm hoping the latter gets easier with practice.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

How does the future sound?

Of the latest tricks up Suhaana's sleeve is to tightly close her lips and then blow hard, causing an occasional far-reaching splutter of spit along with a pfft-pfrr sound.

I anticipate hearing a lot of that sound in my future: both near future and long term!

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Size 2

Let me make note of this day as the day that we moved from size 1 to size 2 of diapers. Years later if Suhaana ever asks me, 'Mom, when I was a little baby, when did I move to size 2 diaper?' I will know exactly when!

Or, (more probable scenario), she wouldn't care for it at all, and I'll keep reminding her of the-day-she-went-to-size-2, while she attempts to block it out of her mind!

Friday, March 9, 2012

Resistance is Useless

The most beautiful face is that of Suhaana's when I'm loading her up with kisses on her cheeks and she's looking sideways, open-mouthed, laughing-smiling, letting me manhandle her, smothering her completely.

She's learnt at least one thing about me: resistance is useless!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

A small jump for Suhaana, a giant leap for..

It has been a few weeks since we introduced Suhaana to the jumparoo. A jumparoo is this toy thing where the infant can be placed (once neck control is achieved), he/she is kept securely in a standing position (with support) and the infant can have fun jumping up and down. It's good for the leg muscles before the child has started to walk.

We'd placed Suhaana in the jumparoo that I borrowed from a friend before. Her feet barely touched the floor, and for a few minutes she seemed to be giving it a fair trail. But past the two minute mark, she would be pretty much done with it. We tried the same routine with the same mixed success rate several times.

But as of yesterday everything has changed. For one, i realized she must've grown taller because her feet are now securely on the floor while she's in the jumparoo. And she has finally cracked the jumparoo code, and discovered it's actually quite fun to jump. Now, there's no stopping her! Put her in the jumparoo and she jumps and jumps and giggles all the while.

As for giggles, that's one thing I can give her company with. Especially while I'm watching her have so much fun.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Tough Call

Suhaana is good on time. She consistently goes to sleep at the same time every evening. She gets up at pretty much the same time every morning for her first feeding of the day. It just so happens that that happens to be between 4 and 4:30 am. I've so wished that her schedule somehow moves just ever so slightly so she gets up at 6 instead of at 4.

Last time on her 4 month checkup I asked her pediatrician. How can I move her schedule so she gets up just a little later. I had tried to force feed her more in the night, it hadn't worked. I had tried to force her be awake a little bit longer, that hadn't gone too well. I had tried to pacify her when she got up in the morning without milk, that hadn't gone too well either.

Her doctor said the way that works is: if you get up every morning to have a sandwich, you're used to that meal at the same time every day. Even if you've had enough for the day, you'll still need to have a sandwich on the morning. So, the thing to do is, to reduce the morning meal size little by little every day slowly, so that she no longer has the habit of a feeding at 4 am every morning. But if you don't feed her at 4 or feed her lesser than what she wants, and she gets up soon after, hungry again, then she's not ready to give up her 4 am snack, she'll need more time.

Armed with these guidelines I decided to reduce her early morning feeding size. But I have to say, it's difficult. Not that she puts up any resistance. She just finishes the milk I give her, takes the pacifier and is fast asleep in no time. But it's difficult to give her less when I know she's super hungry and can take more. And yet, I'm so looking forward to stop getting up at 4.

No one said this was going to be easy.