What Children Want

Last few days have been long days at work. Occasional long hours had never been a big issue earlier. It's the nature of software. But now, post Suhaana, being away at work and not playing games with her, tickling her silly or rolling on the bed with her, not filling her up with kisses and hugs; is a bitter pill to swallow.

Yesterday when I got back from work after a 13 hour work day, I was dying to hold this little girl in my arms. I didn't let go of her all evening. Mom tells me she was visibly missing me towards the evening. It breaks my heart.

I was talking to someone yesterday and heard this phrase that it's a good thing you're working longer hours; cause you're making more money. To me, money is important. But even more so, quality of life has always been more important to me. And life since Suhaana, has changed courses. After a certain point, I'd just rather spend time with this naughty little thing at home than anything else.

It reminds me of something a friend had said to me.. And it somehow stuck: children don't need much. They don't need fancy clothes, new toys, great amenities... All the things money can buy. They just need love and attention. They don't need anything else.

And I feel every single day that's so very true.

Sooner than I know

Looking through some of Suhaana's photos on the iPhone, makes me muse how quickly she's growing up. Sooner than I realize, she'll be going to school, having her circle of friends, having her own opinions, her own likes and dislikes. Soon the games that hold her interest would no longer be just the games we play together. Her dreams would be distinct from the dreams I have for her.

Soon I would no longer be carrying her around in my arms and she would no longer be holding my fingers to go places.

Epic Battle

Right now, there's an epic battle being waged. The war between the Sleep fairy (Nina bai in Hindi) and Suhaana. Nina bai comes faithfully to pick up Suhaana in her feathers and take her along in a bed of clouds to the dreamy fairyland.

But Suhaana, adamant on standing her post, refuses to go anywhere. Nina bai, perhaps encouraged by our support, tries harder, cajoles and tries to force her will on the girl. Little does Nina bai know, force doesn't go well with the little girl. She returns the favor by ruffling the Sleep Fairy's feathers and sends her packing where she came from.

Now, I'm all love for sleep fairies and I certainly appreciate their valiant efforts. But so cute my little girl is; I'm all on Suhaana's side. It seems like the wise choice too, since that's the winning side!

Leaving for work

Most days when I leave for work Suhaana is fast asleep. She gets up around 5, has her milk and goes right back to sleep. But today, she was up and about at 5. She was rolling around on the bed, till I finally got up.

My mom picked her up and got her downstairs. As I was fixing to go to work, Suhaana was just watching me, with naughty and watchful eyes. Watching if mommy will play with her some more or is she leaving. So heart meltingly cute, I just didn't want to leave for work. It's way easier when she's sleeping and I hover over her and cover her with kisses before leaving for work. All the while she's fast asleep and merely twitching at the mild annoyance of having me snuggle her.

No, it's difficult leaving for work when she's asleep and it's way more difficult with her big eyes watching me fixing to leave. Because every second, I feel like running back and taking her in my arms and coddle her some more.

Newborn photo

Recently one of my very good friends got me a mouse pad at work - a kind where you can store a photo inside the plastic flap. I'd been thinking of taking a photo of Suhaana to work for sometime, but just hadn't gotten around to printing some new photos. Not wanting to delay any further, I just decided to stick in a photo I had at home:

Taken on day 2 of Suhaana, it was a photo of the hospital sofa. With the little baby in Raj's arms sleeping tight. Raj looking up into the camera (that I was holding), with sleep starved red eyes. It's a beautiful photo.

This Morning's Wake up Call

This morning I woke up to the sound of a crying Suhaana. I went over to her crib. And what do I see?
Not the usually expected scene of a baby lying in her crib and crying for comfort. No. It was this baby standing on her legs holding the ledge of her crib with both her hands, looking over to our bed (her crib is in our room over the corner). And crying come and get me:) The scene of her peeking from top of the crib ledge is just too cute to forget.

Mothers Day

Belated happy mothers' day to one and all.

I've heard so many sappy stories about "how I love my mom", and even though I do too (for sure I appreciate my mom more now than I ever did before).. But I'm just a little too sap-
ped out of all those mushy emotions. I'd made plans for my mom n I going and spending some time at a salon, and get pampered. Not only did that not happen, after spending hours and hours in the kitchen standing- making breakfast, then tea, then lunch and then Suhaana's home made meal plan, then having lunch; in between feeding her breakfast, then lunch, then shower .. I was just exhausted.. Another late night and I'm just energy sapped.

And I Miss You..

Everyday these days, I get to work. I'm usually alone since I come in early. And as I'm trying to get a good chunk of the day's work taken care of before the meetings and distractions begin; suddenly, in the midst of work, I just miss my little Suhaana. I think of her either sleeping or rolling around on the bed in half sleepy, half playful mode, after her morning feeding. Making "wa-ga" sounds, patting at pillows (we get her on the bed once she gets up in the morning). Wearing her night suit, which, this morning was the dark pink sleep and play suit with a big cupcake on her chest, gifted by one of my friends (thank you so very much!).

There's no better way to say it.. I just miss her so much!

Attested by Grandmas

And now it's been attested by the grandmas too. My mom is here visiting us and my mom's two sisters were in town with us for a week. And all of them experienced first hand what I've been saying all along.

That my 6 months old doll is so very super active and naughty baby! It's impossible for her to be still for a minute. Her hands will be tapping or hitting or discovering something, while her legs are wildly kicking. All the while, she'll be rolling around and more.

Is it a surprise, even while sleeping she's constantly moving.

Not your usual baby games

Raj and I went out for a little bit, while Suhaana was being watched by grandmas ( my mom and her two sisters). When we came back, Suhaana and her grandmas were sitting outside in the front lawn. (We live in a townhome where our upstairs room balcony opens facing the front lawn. Also our next door neighbor has a similar -though not the same- floorplan. Their upstairs balcony opens into their front lawn that's right next to ours'.

When we came back from outdoors, I came and gave my doll a big sloppy kiss and hug. Then ran upstairs to freshen up. Then, I opened my balcony window to wave and blow air kisses at her from the second floor. She kept looking.. Smiling just a little bit, but mainly just looking. I was just running back downstairs, when I remembered I had to put clothes in the dryer. I wrapped that up, then came downstairs.

My mom was reporting later, that my doll was watching me from downstairs. Once I closed the balcony door, she started looking at the nearby balcony door on the other side (our neighbors') for a long time. Expecting I'll be playing peekaboo coming from the other side, next time. She kept looking and looking for me to come out from the other door for a long while.

My mom told me this at night, at it was just so heart melting! Can't believe I was busy putting laundry at that time.. But its just so sweet..

Also makes me feel how very fragile kids are. Not just physically, but in their tiny, little hopes and expectations. And daunting to think how easy it is to affect them without ever even realizing it.

So, You Want To Eat That?

As of last 2 weeks, Suhaana is on a schedule of solid foods 3 times a day. She's been introduced to organic carrots, spinach, green peas and pears (all pureed); in addition to her rice cereal. And I have to say, she's taking to it just fine.

Some of the pureed baby food came in a small pouch, with a toothpaste tube kind of opening. Yesterday as I finished giving the little girl her last solid meal of the day, there was still some organic, pureed pear that was left in the pouch. Baby food has a limited shelf life once opened, and this pouch couldn't be fed to her the next day. It still had some pear left in it. Since it smelt so deliciously saccharine, I was glad to finish it off. Just as I was finishing up the contents of the pouch, the little girl was all interested in getting her hands on it. And, as with all interesting things, this one ended up naturally in her mouth. Only this time, instead of stopping her, I just pressed on the pouch; so it released some of the pear right into her mouth.

Poor little thing was so surprised at the sudden explosion of food in her mouth, she recoiled. Raj and I laughed our evil laughs of parenthood for the next several minutes!