10 Pounder

My little Bobby boy was not a 10 pounder when he was born. In fact, he was just 2 ounces over 6lb. Tinier than little miss Haana when she was born (at 6lb 14oz). Like all newborn babies he lost weight in the days just after his birth. And when we left the hospital, he was even tinier at 5lb 14oz. But now, the little Bobby boy is steadily getting bigger. He's all of 8 months old!

The other day, when I left little Bobby boy on the floor for a minute, he scuttled on all 4s to explore new territory. Did i mention the boy is an explorer? Immediately, he headed towards the very thing he's been repeatedly told not to go to. The dumbell weights. And by the time i got to him, he was pulling a 10lb dumbell on the carpet towards himself. By the time I pried his iron grip loose from the weight, the 10 pound dumbell was clearly shaken up from its slumber.

My Bobby is a weight lifter! 

The Dreaded Covid

The coming of a baby is momentous for the whole family, especially the parents. A life event that marks calendars for the rest of everyone's lifetime in the family.

This year, though, the happenings in the spring of 2020 were unprecedented all on their own too. Early 2020 saw the rise of a pandemic of Covid-19 virus, starting from China but quickly spreading all across the globe to every country. With the virus spreading through droplets in the air, like the flu and influenza; surviving on surfaces for several hours to days; and with humans having no resistance to the virus; the number of affected individuals rose across the world at alarming speed. This prompted countries across the world to shut down most businesses, calling for people to stay home to avoid interaction and spread of the virus. The new term "social distancing", maintaining at least 6 feet distance with other individuals not living together, became a household mantra. The world economy came to a grinding halt with scores of businesses shutting down during the pandemic and others requiring their employees to work from home, in order to avoid increasing risk of exposure. Daily wage earners are severely affected, also hurt are service sector businesses and travel industry with significant travel restrictions to stymie the spread of the virus.

Across the world, people are affected, and what was an obscure disease in one corner of the world has, with a few weeks, taken over the lifestyle, economy, news, politics and administrations across the world.

For me, the timing was momentous. Little Bobby  boy was due to arrive right as the news of the pandemic was intensifying in the US in March 2020, and things were changing on a daily basis. And with that, so were our plans.

Grand parents had planned to visit us for little Bobby boy's arrival; but with the evolving situation of the pandemic getting worse across the world we thought it was very risky for them to make the journey. We asked them to stay put and not travel at such a time. Turns out, it was a good idea. In days most travel between countries like India and the US was suspended anyway.

I had looked for a nanny to help with the new baby at home especially since we realized we will not have help from family. But turned out, once we returned from the hospital with little Bobby boy, the nanny lady was sick with flu like symptoms. Given the pandemic, mutually we decided it's best for her not to start on the nanny job till she recovers and the pandemic clears off.

The visitation policy in the hospital had been updated due to the pandemic, and we learnt that little miss Haana cannot visit the hospital at all during my stay. We decided she was to stay with her best pal Rushil, taken care of by her doting aunt Ranjeeta and uncle Sai. She was bummed about not being able to see her baby brother till 4 days later when we get home, but, also, was stoked about spending several days with Rushil. I missed her during the hospital stay to the point that I had been dreaming of her!

During our stay at the hospital, we were barely able to leave the room to limit interaction and possibility of infection spread. Although these measures were no doubt needed, it felt like a room arrest!

Rajesh's sister helped tremendously delivering delicious home cooked food, a huge thing, and something I looked forward to eagerly twice a day! She did this for the first week or more, an enormous help when we would have otherwise have been too overwhelmed to look into it ourselves.

Schools were closed in most states due to the pandemic. And all offices issued work from home directives. This meant both Rajesh and little Miss Haana were at home. I am on my maternity leave. And so it was the 3 of us taking care of the new little Bobby boy. In some ways it's been a boon, spending extended time together, with the new little Bobby boy; something that would otherwise not be possible. Last time when little miss Haana was just born, I remember being frustrated with the continuous cycles of feeding every 2 hrs, cause it meant I cannot even step out of the house without careful timing and planning. This time, due to the pandemic, there's nowhere to go, nowhere to step out to! With social distancing all visits with friends and family are replaced with virtual interaction with video or voice calls instead.

Today about 1/3rd of my maternity leave is over. And while no one would wish for a pandemic, I am thankful to have little miss Haana be at home and bond with her little brother. Thankful to have Rajesh at home which is an immense help with pretty much every thing. Thankful to spend time as a family together under one roof.

It is scary having a newborn baby in the backdrop of this virus. But as the pandemic continues, I am thankful for a lot so far. Most of all, thankful for the health of all my loved ones.

Perhaps months, years or decades later we will look back and marvel at how strange things were that spring of 2020!

Big Boy

Once little Bobby boy had fixed his few moments of intense concentration on my face, I had to have this straight one on one talk with him:
Look at you! You're not a little newborn baby boy any more, are you? You're a big boy now, almost 1 month old! No longer the newborn tiny baby any more, are you?! You're a big boy now, right? A big 1 month old boy!
He seemed to listen and appreciate the gravity of being all of one month old! :)

Newborn photo

Recently one of my very good friends got me a mouse pad at work - a kind where you can store a photo inside the plastic flap. I'd been thinking of taking a photo of Suhaana to work for sometime, but just hadn't gotten around to printing some new photos. Not wanting to delay any further, I just decided to stick in a photo I had at home:

Taken on day 2 of Suhaana, it was a photo of the hospital sofa. With the little baby in Raj's arms sleeping tight. Raj looking up into the camera (that I was holding), with sleep starved red eyes. It's a beautiful photo.

New Bundle Of ...

This is something that quite surprised me when Suhaana was just born. The newborn days are quite intense in that it's a big change for the parents - well, for first time parents. The relative carefree lifestyle we were living was completely overhauled as soon as the baby entered the picture. I was amongst the youngest kids in my family, so I never really knew quite what to expect, the true intensity of how much life changes when a baby arrives- overnight.

The first few days of parenthood were simply magical.. I was awe struck by this tiny little fragile thing, I could hardly take my eyes off of her. I remember the first night, I couldn't sleep a wink because I couldn't bear to close my eyes and not see her. When I told some friends and family about this, they laughed at me. Veteran parents know how quickly sleep and exhaustion catches up with you. And how intense it can be initially.

We were so exhausted, sleep deprived and sore, I must admit, there were a few times when I would look back at my life from not so long ago, with somewhat of a nostalgia. Not because I didn't appreciate this cute little bundle that had just gotten added in our lives. No, I was and am, so very thankful and grateful for it. But just nostalgic about the life we had lived just as a couple so far. I was having transition troubles.

And then I used to wonder: In India, everyone says a child cements the bonds that hold a marriage together. What I experienced was quite the opposite. For one, the initial days were so stressful and exhausting. I found out I'm not a very amiable or optimistic person when I haven't slept much for days. And the traditional outlook of children being just pure, overwhelming joy of bonding was in such stark contrast with what I was experiencing- it made me worry sometimes- am I the only one who's having a hard time? For whom this exquisite joy has come bundled in exhaustion to the verge of depression?

Then the other day i was reading this book: Brain Rules for children 0-5 by John Medina and there's a quote about conclusion of study by the Journal of Family Psychology: "In sum, parenthood hastens marital decline - even among relatively satisfied couples who select themselves into the transition." It seems most of the parents experience being overwhelmed by the thrust of responsibilities and sudden lack of even a moment for themselves, least of all for each other.

But it's not all hopeless. In fact situations improve quickly. And discovering and going through these incredible changes together does form a bonding relationship. Just don't expect that to happen in the first month of the baby.

Brand New Baby

My closest friend just had a baby boy. We went to the hospital to see him. Holding the newborn is my hands reminded me of the day when Suhaana was born:

It was an unplanned c section, and not without anxiety. But as I was lying on the OT under local anesthesia, I heard her first sound, a muffled cry initially. I looked at my husband Raj and his eyes just glowed in excitement. But I still hadn't seen her yet. Then, finally, I caught a glimpse of her as 3 nurses buzzed around her. She was crying out loud now, and Raj was hovering over her.

The moment when I first caught a brief glimpse of her is something I'll never forget. I felt such complete awe... Just absolute bliss. 'Oh my God, she's so unbelievably beautiful' - was my first thought. That brief moment is forever engraved in my memory. A moment of such absolute happiness and joy.

I waited in anticipation as the nurses did their initial tasks of cleanup and medications on her and Raj hovered like an excited school kid. Those few moments were perhaps the longest minutes of my life! I was still on the OT table when Raj did place her close to me. I just melted, she was so unbelievably tiny and cute.

When they were wheeling me to the room, the nurse was pushing my bed asked me if I was tired. I said 'no, I'm just so excited!'. I couldn't wait to hold little Suhaana in my hands again.

That first night, the entire night, I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I couldn't sleep a wink all night, cause I couldn't bear closing my eyes and not seeing her. I was in such complete bliss, and so much in love!

And even today, every time I see her, I feel the same rush of crazy love emotion. Sometimes when she's fast asleep I plant huge kisses on her. She just twitches at the momentary annoyance and goes right back to sleep.

Suhaana is 7 now

Suhaana is 7 now. 7 weeks that is. And somewhere during the past week she made a few discoveries for herself.

The first one was smiling. While earlier she used to smile primarily in her sleep, I'm told newborns do that but it's generally just to pass gas; now, she does it while fully awake and engaged. In fact most of the time, it's when we're talking to her and swooning over her anyway. That's when she decides to try this little new lip twirling trick to send us over the edge head over heels, madly in love!

These days I'm always with my iPhone, which also doubles as a notebook for checking emails, and triples as a camera. Not an ambitious camera, but something to take instant photos and send across with without the hassle of rechargeable batteries, USB cables, charging chords, transferring photos etc. Anyhow, these days I'm always hovering with my phone (read: camera) in hand to click at just the right moment. Suhaana must have begun mistaking my face for the backside o the iPhone cover. And that thought just made me feel I should perhaps get a better cover for the iPhone!

The other discovery that the little girl has made is, that it's (unfortunately) more fun to stay awake and have people talking to her and make silly faces and coo to her, than to just play with her hands and legs or fall asleep. And that of course crying gets immediate attention ; but I think she learnt that much earlier on. gone are the days when she used to just cry when she needed a feeding and would otherwise be a happy little content baby. No more. Well, at least so far, she listens. She loves to listen in fact. So much so that she wants to be talked to most of the daytime hours. I hear, once kids start talking, they seldom listen! So I'm going to talk my heart out, before she gets a chance to change her mind about listening!

My precious little girl sure knows how to punch our buttons. How do children do that with such ease!