Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts

Friday, March 20, 2020

GD

So this pregnancy has been different in several ways from the last one. That is, as far as I remember, though it has been 8+ years.

The good thing this time around, is that I was much more active for most of my pregnancy. I had been regular in my running and workouts from before the pregnancy, and I decided for myself that as long as I'm not starting a whole new routine, I'm just going to keep on working out and running. I was able to continue running till my 5th month (although from running, it later became more of jogging, and then, it transitioned to slow jogging!). Even after I couldn't really run anymore, I was hiking in my 6th month, and camped with a dear friend in my 7th. I was walking a mile or more most days all the way till the 9th month. (I realize this is totally bragging, and yet somehow, it feels so good ;-D!)

Now outside of that, this time I got diagnosed with gestational diabetes (GD, or gestational diabetes is diabetes some pregnant women contract. It's due to placenta producing hormones that causes insulin resistance in the body, hence spiking blood sugar. If untreated it can be detrimental to the baby. There's also a higher incidence of women with GD developing diabetes later in life). I went through all the various stages of reactions:

First, there was disbelief. Surely they got this wrong, the next test will reveal it was all a mistake. (It didn't).
Next, it was anger. What do you mean I have GD! How can this be! I've been doing everything right (see previous paragraph). How is it possible!
Then, it was just sadness and being upset. Tears!! :-(( Why did this happen to me! Why!!
And then finally, at some point, it was acceptance. Fine, I can do this. It can be tackled. I got this!

By some stroke of luck or providence, as part of healthier eating, I had tried a low carb diet plan for a few months in the summer of last year. It was not easy, the first week I was hungry all the time. The second week onwards, though, I started getting better, and figuring out alternate foods and recipes that were low carb, healthy and tasty. Ironically, I gave up the diet right at the time when I got pregnant! But now that I needed to do low carb to keep GD in check, at least I knew what the alternate foods were. I knew already what would not work, and I didn't have to go through the discovery process; where you're at the grocery store in the snack aisle, looking through the labels in disbelief, thinking 'There's absolutely nothing I can eat here! Nothing!'. I was over that discovery hump :-)!

But unlike when I did low carb diet before pregnancy, for much of the 1st and 3rd trimester, I have been too tired and achy to do my cooking. Rajesh has taken over the mantle of getting low carb ingredients, cooking, meal planning; all of it! And I owe being able to stick with it entirely to him! Ever since I started tracking my sugar 4x a day, my blood sugar numbers, as per my doctor, have been outstanding, if I must say so myself :-P. But the credit goes to him entirely :).
He's the reason for my successful GD story. :)

Saturday, July 20, 2019

Perfect Profile

The other day, I was watching miss Haana as she was busy doing something. I was watching her from the side, looking at the profile of her face, her nose, mouth and chin. And I thought to my self, just how perfect she is, so wonderful, so beautiful, so amazing. Whenever I feel this way, which is quite often, I feel like wrapping her in a bubble wrap so I can keep her out of everyone's reach; and strapped on to me.

I also remembered the day when i first saw her face in a profile. I was far along in the pregnancy and was having a scheduled ultrasound. She was laying on her side, and i saw her face on the grainy monitor: we could clearly make out her forehead,  nose, mouth, chin. It was surreal. But, that night i had a dream. I dreamt the little girl was born, but i couldn't find in my heart any love for her. She grew up loveless, uncared for, taking care of herself. And one day I was surprised (in the dream) to notice that she was now 5 years old and had glasses; and I hadn't even noticed or cared for her in all these years. I didn't love her, I didn't find her beautiful, I hardly even remembered her. I woke up with a start from the dream. And I cried. She shouldn't feel unloved, uncared for; I know how that feels. I hope I don't hurt her like that by being absent from her life. I hope both of us can see and feel in our hearts how amazing she is, how amazing she has always been. I cried for sometime and later blamed it on my wonky pregnancy hormones. But i still remember it clearly like yesterday.

Today, looking at her, i can't help feeling, my little baby (told her she will always be my little baby!), is absolutely, heart meltingly, gut wrenchingly, so completely - perfect!