Change

Today felt like the unwilling end of a wonderful chapter.. And there were tears on every side!

As I pulled away I wondered how many more such chapters would open and close in my little baby's life.

Just 4 months back I was in a crisis mode: Suhaana's nanny was leaving (effectively for good) and in my opinion she was too little (15 months)  for going to a regular day care. Realizing that may be the only option I was already taking day care tours although still not comfortable with the idea. 

And then, I got a reference from a friend of mine; who's friend has a home day care. And the next four months were the most fun period. The little girl made new friends. And most unexpectedly, I made a really good friend too. So many-an evenings were spent at the pretext of picking up Miss Suhaana; but then staying longer while we talked over masala chai and snacks! To say that the tea was fantastic and the company even more endearing- would be a gross understatement. I looked forward to spending that half an hour every evening away from both work and home in an escape that can only be provided by a good friend. And we'll talk about what happened during the day, just everything under the sun. 

Meanwhile the non-adults would continue with fun of their own: the lady's two daughters and Suhu would be busy with their own activities. 

Her daughters are probably the most well behaved, soft spoken, smart and cutest girls ever! The older one is 10. She is smart, sweet and  paints really well. The younger one is 4 and she is also very smart, very friendly and very sweet. 

Suhu and the girls would be busy with their fun activities; and every day when I would turn to Suhu and ask her "Shall we go home?", she would immediately give me her to-the-point, unequivocal reply "NO". Every day I would be met by formidable opposition (read: angry crying and throwing of arms and legs) against been taken home. My only weapon: "Papa must be waiting for the little girl, don't you want to meet him?" Grudging acceptance - these games may have to wait till tomorrow. 

Lately Suhaaana would call the day care lady (no names for privacy) as Mumma! It was funny and cute there were more than one Mummys around! 

But now the day care lady is going to move out of state; and even though I found an alternate place for the little girl- it will never be quite the same. Every morning when sitting in the car seat, Suhu calls out the names of her 10 and 4 year old friends! And today when I with Suhaana went back to my day-care-lady-friend for good-byes, it was hard. Hard thinking I would not see her around. And harder thinking the kids wouldn't have each other around and would miss each other a whole lot. Suhu was calling out the names of her friends all the way home - as I'm sure she'll repeat them tomorrow as Papa is taking her over to the new day care next morning. 

Life moves on.. And this begins the journey our children would go through for the rest of their lives - moving in and out of new places/things is never easy. But if you think change is hard wait till your kids have to go through it- that's so much tougher. 

Today when Suhaana figured that we're leaving and we may not see the lady or come back to her house perhaps, she held on to her hand and didn't want to let go. Crying proceeded, as I'm sure there were tears on either side. I could have cried too if I wasn't too busy being the parent and saying it will be okay! Yes, this is definitely harder! But the last few months has been a really good time and the little girl will undoubtedly remember her older friends for a long, long, long time. 

Mumma, Neenna?

Scene 1: Its 1pm and its Suhaana's nap time. It's weekend and all of us are at home. I get the little girl to the bedroom for her nap.

The stage is set.
Bedtime lullabies? Check.
Blinds? Check.
Curtains? Check.

Now it's a waiting game before the little girl falls asleep. And then:

Mumma?
Yes baby
Mumma, neenna? (baby talk for sleep)
Yes baby! Now go to neenna!
Pause
Mumma?
Yes chhota ( little )
Mumma, neenna ?
Yes baby! Go to neenna now!
Pause
Mumma
Neenna
Suhu.. Do neenna baby!
Pause
Mumma? Neenna?
Gugu, (employ a stern voice now) go to neenna now!
Pause
Mumma?
Yes Gugu
Mumma? Neenna!
Yes baby! Neenna karo ab tum ( go to sleep now)
Momentary pause.
Mumma?
No response strategy employed now
Mumma?
Mumma?
Little hands patting my cheek now in case I've fallen asleep..
Mumma?
Mumma?
Yes chhota?! (unsure whether to be angry or to break out laughing)
Mumma? Neenna!
(Mumma trying hard not to hug the little one tight and semi-crush her)
Yes baby, go to neenna now!
(repeat)
(repeat)
(repeat)
(....)

Mumma is having a hard time not laughing!

In the end; Mumma starts to sing a lullaby and the little baby finally falls asleep listening to it!

Oh No

We've entered another exciting phase.
My little baby Suhaana can now say 2 to 3 words together- sometimes on cue, sometimes impromptu.

I'm not entirely sure when it started, bug I noticed last week.. She was calling herself "Good girl". Today when she wanted a cup of water, she demanded "water cup".

But the funniest came when I was trying to give her her dinner and she was less than enthusiastic about it, and she looked away from me in dismay and said "Oh no, food!!"!! I laughed for several minutes after!

I'm told my troubles are just beginning..

Civic Duty

Gone are the days when Mumma used to give little Suhaana her bath. These days, the independence streak has taken over. Not only do little girls around here take a bath all by themselves and enjoy themselves. They even ensure tumblers full of water are rolled down on Mommy to give her a (much needed?!) bath as well.Consider it civic duty!

Unfriendly Neighborhood Ducks

The ducks in our neighborhood are not the friendly kind. That's what I learnt the other day:

I looked out from the living room window one evening and saw two ducks crossing the front yard gate. Evening stroll. I immediately jumped up. So far Suhaana has only seen ducks from afar on the lake. But here they are on the front gate, this was different!

I called out to the little girl and opened the door to show her the ducks on the front gate. I didn't even have a chance to put her slippers on and she was gone!

She ran behind the ducks, who seemed mildly amused but kept a few feet's safe distance. But my little girl was too excited to pay heed to that. She ran behind them and pointed an excited finger at them: "Duck! Duck!".

The ducks were slowly moving to keep a constant few feet's distance with the pesky child. But the little baby was persistent! She ran behind them for a long distance. When they quacked, she even quacked back at them to initiate familiarity. "Quack quack!" she shouted! I ran behind the three of them (two ducks and a little girl) laughing at the cuteness of it all.

Evidently the ducks didn't appreciate the intrusion, and eventually realized they can't shake off the child so they flew away. Poor Suhaana kept calling "Hey Ducks! Ducks!" after them but they were gone. Mumma had to console the baby the ducks have gone to bed, and now it's the baby's turn; and returned home.

Friendly ducks they were not!

Reality is Only A Probability

I love Calvin's dad - he's done the impossible! He's taken this really tough job of parenting and turned it around to be a vehicle of his amusements and experiments! Its pure genius! I'm surprised its not already patented.

What I also agree with Calvin's dad is that popular knowledge is incredibly boring. Alternate outlandish explanations with no bearing on scientific data or populist notions of reality are so much more interesting. And quantum mechanics itself tells us- we can never be 100% sure- there's always a level of uncertainties even to our most certain realities. Which means the outlandish explanations are not really falsehood and made-up lies after all - just alternate realities. Much like alternate universes.

Now with that preface it's only a good thing that sometimes when Miss Suhaana says something wrong (by popular knowledge anyway) but incredibly cute, I have to encourage her - its only part of good parenting.

Sometime back Miss Haana was learning to identify the eyes and nose and ears etc. And somehow she got the eyes and nose messed up, such that most days, the eye is the nose and the nose is the eye. I do as any good parent would be expected I do.. Never stop laughing as I agree with her- point to her eye and say "N.O.S.E.")!

Lately she's learnt the three words that preface her big jumps- ready-steady-go. Only that for her- it is "Ready. Steady. G.O.A.T"!! Once again, being the supportive that I resolve to be- I agree with her and make it a point to say "Goat" every time I can!! It is hilarious!

As she grows up, I do intend to teach her about how big the sun is and where it sets as well! :)

Heavy Stuff

It's hard as a parent to NOT be the preferred parent. I've been trying to deny the feeling for some time, but every time I see it (Suhaana preferring Raj to me), it stings. There are just no two ways of saying it! On the other hand, maybe it's the universe's way of saying what goes around comes around.

When I was little, I had my favorites. And that actually continues till date. My dad was my role model when I was young. Intelligent, charismatic, righteous, just - just about everything. I remember when I was 5 or 6, my mom jokingly asked me who I love more, Papa or Mummy. I gave a politically correct reply of "Both". But I don't think there ever was a question about blinded-in-love-role model! So could this be payback time for me?

In my defense, I wasn't really the favorite child for my parents either. For a long time I thought it was only my mom playing favorites. But much later I realized, it was so for both my parents. As both my sister and I grew up, on occasion I was the preferred one but only because she was not preferred - she was in a temperamental stage. I was preferred because of lack of options.

Now the tables are turned. And as a parent, eager to correct the "wrongs", I compensate: a blog to commemorate every nuance of Suhaana's growing up. An email address to store every loving note until eternity. No, we'll not make the same mistakes. We'll make different ones.

I guess for several families, the Mom is the preferred parent, because she's the one who's around mostly, and she's too busy to fuss about such non-issues. And I guess I should be thankful of my situation of equitable division of labor. (I call it equitable, I've never asked Raj what he thinks about it. I've figured it best to steer clear of those discussions!) And yet, here we are. I either need to climb the social charts of likeability really quickly or brace myself for the teenage years to come.