Nothing sets you straight like a child.

Suhaana is now in the phase where she likes to try to repeat things that we say and do. This is quite exciting when we see her struggling to enunciate words like "pa-ca" (peacock), "phfffissh" (fish), and "totle" (turtle). And then there are those that she's already mastered like wow, hello, hi, ba-bye, ball, bear etc.

But it also means I need to watch what I'm saying. A couple of time last week when I turned to Suhaana I found her in the middle of some naughtiness. In both surprise and humor, and in a bid to immediately put an end to the illegal activity (like putting her sock into the oatmeal bowl, then trying to put her leg into the oatmean bowl. Or the other time when she was trying her bath time crayons on the bed sheet.) I called out "eyy" (like a 'hey' but with h silent) and soon enough, she repeated after me "Eii". As soon as she'd said it I realized that's not a very nice way of asking someone not to do something.

I did this a couple time last week. Both times Suhaana repeated after me filling me with realization and regret. But since then- nothing. I'm cured as it were. Now for bigger battles of keeping cool when her dinner is taking too long and getting too frustating - we're still working in that one!

The Tea Bag that was Not a Tea Bag

This happened last weekend.. and in retrospect it seems like one of those things just waiting to happen.

I was changing Suhaana's diaper while she was struggling to get out of my hands. (The downstairs' mobile diaper changing setup has been relocated to be on the floor for safety of the wiggly toddler.) Just as I was done cleaning her up and proceeded to get the new diaper, she got away from me. Turned around and ran away. Now this had turned into a catch-me-if-you-can game! I was intending to give her her bath, so thought that's just as well.
Just as I was going to catch this butt-naked naughty girl for her bath, Raj asked me something.. And I was responding, and got distracted.

Meanwhile this little girl proceeded to a far corner into what I presumed to be her usual games. A little later, I was still talking to Raj, when Suhaana walks towards the kitchen. I noticed that her legs are wet. Raj said there was some water on the floor from the dishwasher loading. I, the not so easily convinced, wanted to check for myself. I peeped to the far corner where Suhaana had been"playing"- and sure enough. There was a little lake there- too big to qualify as a puddle by any means. And then there was this little thing in it. From my vantage point, it looked like a used tea bag. I wondered where she got a tea bag from. But then, who knows? These days are full of surprises!

Both me n Raj moved in on Suhaana (this had once again become a catch me if you can game), and got her cleaned up. Then, when I got closer to evaluate the damage (luckily this was on the tile and not carpet), I realized the tea bag was no tea bag! Yes, it's exactly what you're thinking! I couldn't help but laugh and laugh and laugh for about 5 minutes!! It would be pretty gross if it weren't just so funny (especially given that in all my wishful thinking and naiveness I thought it was a tea bag )!!

Of course cleanup followed. Suhaana has to be restrained by Daddy, because she was both- ever so ready to help Mummy with cleanup and also because she was curious about this little brown "pebble"! Cleanup was gross.. But I still think it was so funny!

And yes, no more running around naked for you, little girl!

Birthday

For Raj's birthday Suhaana gave her daddy so many sloppy kisses today.. Along with a card that has a picture of a big grill, along side a little pink grill. Inside the card says "Daddy I'm your little grill". Cute little cookie!

Do Not Believe The NO

You should not believe everything you hear these days. For instance, if you were to meet Suhaana any of these days you'll think my and her favorite word is "No". Reality is far from it!

It's all because lately, Suhaana has this new found interest in some words, like 'No'. If she hears it, in any context, even as an innocuous part of any random statement, she gets all excited.. And then screams "NOoo" at top of her voice - full blast. Shaking her head in vehement disapproval. Sometimes even raising her index finger in reinforcement. She has so much fun with her enactment of the word- and so do I. Most of the times, I forget what the no was about! And that's when I think to myself 'Oh No! I forgot what I was saying' but I dare not say it out loud!

This Sunday Morning

It's sunday today and I was up pretty early. Suhaana was still asleep when I got up. I shook Raj from his slumber - wake up! No response. This is a great thing, i thought. It's weekend, the little girl is asleep. The house is quiet. Why not fix a relaxing cup of bed tea?!

I went downstairs to fix tea (tea is a rarity for me these days, let alone having it in bed). Then, I came upstairs to have my tea - on the bed, in peace and quiet. (It was still kind of dark outside). As I was just about to get in, I glanced over Suhaana's crib (we have her crib in our room and are debating if we should move it to her room presently). So, I glance over, and my eyes met a pair of tiny awake eyes in the crib. Doing peekaboo! Not running around - just yet. There was still a small flicker of hope for my tea and peace and quiet. I did the only logical thing to do - make no noise, and pretended like I didn't even see her. Like we're all just going to go back to sleep.

I settled in the bed. Hopeful and eager for my hot cuppa tea. I glanced back towards the crib again confident that the little girl must have drifted off to lala-land. What do I find? The baby eyes are staring back at me, standing up in the crib, wide awake, holding the crib rails. Tiny tracking system located pacifier nearby and deployed it. Then, located the little doll (crib mate). Picked her up, and gave her a big sloppy good-morning hug.

At this point- it was just too much cuteness going around to ignore for me. I needed my own little doll to pick up and give one big hug to..

Sandy Hook

Just saw the news about shooting at Sandy Hook elementary school in Connecticut. 20 elementary grade kids were killed. And adults. Am horrified. Who would do such a despicable act? Who would want to hurt these elementary grade kids? For what purpose? What possible point would you want to make, what scores would you want to settle?

I'm even more distraught about the parents. Having Suhaana has given me some insight into parents in general. But I can't begin to imagine what the parents of the children are going through. And to think, an incident like this would provide them no closure, no justice, no hope.

I'm just sad. So, very sad. We think we're a progressive society- moving towards betterment in all aspects. And then an incident like this comes along, makes you question - just about everything. Now we're thinking about locks in school buildings, first response, reverse 911 calls et cetera. When what we really want is to go back to how we grew up, where the street we live on was our playground, we would know everyone in the neighborhood, we would run around and play outdoors, as prevalent on the neighborhood streets and parks as weeds. A time and world where there's no fear. We can't get there with guns or locks. Even though we probably can avert some tragedies with locks. But we can't get rid of that fear. Makes me feel like its lost- forever..

In some way, everyone has lost something today - not only the parents and families and the children directly affected at Sandy Hook.

Balance Aid

As we came back from our outing, I was taking off Suhaana's shoes. I was kneeling down beside her, she was standing - all of 2 feet and some.

I asked her for her right leg. She raised her right leg up obediently (read: conveniently). Then I asked her for her left leg. She wasn't completely balanced on her right leg. But as I moved to remove her left shoe, and she wavered on her balance a little bit - what in the world does she hold on to? Mumma's hair- its that black thready thing you can always hold and pull on to when you need that extra balance and support!!

I miss..

All the time I spend away from my little baby.. All the time that sifts away.. I miss you..

Twice In One Week

This week I decided to take Suhu to a book store. It's one of my favorite places to be. Suhaana had never been to one yet.. But it's part of my new strategy of introducing little baby to new places. This was also a sans-stroller trip (I'd forgotten it at home) so I was a little wary if Suhu would be cherry picking disgusting grime from the carpet and all my time would be spent telling her not.

But here we were anyway. As soon as we reached our destination (baby book section) and she disembarked from my arms, it was pure glee - for both of us!

She was just ecstatic there were so many things at her eye and arm level - aisle upon aisle of books - such multicolored mosaics. She would go and take one out from display.. Leave it and run into another aisle. There were people too - who'll waive her hello. She'd hold her arm up, all fingers wide open, rotate it a bit and run to check if Mama's still where Suhu left her. There were buckets full of plush toys too. She could take one, look at it, laugh at it, leave it and move to baby books, then into the young fiction section and turn into the hobby aisle....

I had so much fun too.. For one, Suhu was enjoying herself in one of my favorite places was a reward in itself. But also 'cause I get so fascinated with cute colorful baby books myself- The Little Blue Truck and The Jungle book with a board game too, A Little Tiger book.. Oh just so much fun!

How time flies. Now you know why it was twice in one week.

Bonbon the Pink Nosed

We opened one of the presents for Suhaana that she got for her birthday from her Uncle Scotty. (Thanks to her illness and then mine and then Raj's last week, we haven't gotten around to opening them all yet - but I'm so looking forward to). It was a sleep and play outfit and at least one of the cutest things on the planet (ok, not as cute as the little girl, but dangerously close): a pink and grey stripe-sporting, long tailed, big round eared and little pink nosed mouse BonBon. Cute as a button and then some!

Needless to say, they look great together!

All's Well That Ends Well

Long weekend passed and not quite enough. This week was the best, then the worst and then back.

Suhaana had a big, big Elmo party. Lots of kids. She had a great time. She had the best time tasting Elmo cake icing!! Mommy had never given any cake to Suhaana so far. And what a dearth it had been for! She lapped up with all the photo session and her favorite aunts all giving her one bite each.

Then a couple of days later, poor baby got a stomach bug pretty bad. I was at work and freaked out when Raj called to say the nanny had called her and said Suhaana is not well. She was throwing up. When I got back from work, she'd already thrown up 3 times. By the time we saw the doctor the same afternoon she'd thrown up 10 times that day. Her doctor held us at her office to watch Suhaana, giving her 1 tsp pedialite every 5 minutes. The following day, the vomiting was gone, but hello diarrhea. :( Next 3 days, this little girl barely got up. She just slept mostly.

Meanwhile both raj and I took turns throwing up and generally feel unwell too over the weekend. But then come Sunday, and every one feels somewhat better. So much better.

All's well that ends well, right? Except that the weekend is gone!

Thick As Molasses

My cousin was over at ours' last weekend. And with her and my brother in law, came my nephew 9 year old and niece 6. Last time when my mom and my aunts (my mom's two sisters) came over from India, it took this baby girl until the next day to warm up to them. That's half a day and 1 night. Stranger anxiety is an official term. I was fearing the same this time. And this girl does takes some time to watch people around before really warming up to them.

But I was really surprised to learn that where kids are concerned no rules apply. Both my niece and nephew and this little girl were thick as molasses in no time at all! They were running around, giggling and laughing instantly. Like long lost friends or privy to a mischievous secret. Nothing is more binding as share misery or mischief!
At least this time it was the latter (mischief). Who knows in 12 years time it may be the shared misery due to parents!

Best birthday ever!

Last week was my birthday. Raj and I took off from work to spend some time with each other. We stepped out to get brunch while Suhaana was home, her nanny watching her.

When we got back, I got the best birthday present ever.. A little baby running towards me to give me one big sweet hug. Mummy and Suhaana spent the afternoon playing games.
Best birthday ever!

was at home

State of the House

These days it's normal to find my lunch bag in front of the tv. Kitchen cutlery strewn on the living room floor. Kitchen rags on the sofa. My cellphone lying forgotten on the pantry floor. Suhaana's toys all over the house!

But even more favored are my house slippers. Daily, they are hunted down, talked to, aligned, gingerly worn by tiny toes and taken on a ride (although only one of them is taken) half way around the house.

Get Back On The Moving Train

Haven't written since almost a month now due to preparation for travel, then travel, then getting the reins of regular life after the travel. I've fallen off the regular blogging habit, and don't know where to pick it up again from.

There's much to report that's in the past 1 month. And also new trinkets of fun from just yesterday when I was talking on the phone with my beloved sis-in-law (cousin of Raj's) on hands-free with headphone/earphones. And just then Suhaana wanted to talk on the phone (presumably to the bear or Elmo). She took my phone, put it on her ear and starting talking (something-haven't figured out what) and moving around. Meanwhile I was running around behind her since I had the earphone chord from the phone to my ear and was actually on a call! :)

I have to report on the past - but while I'm figuring out when to do that, it's important to get back to familiar but off-late forgotten territory.

Push The Red Button

Suhaana has a big toy to keep her busy while she sits in the high chair. It's a big (1 feet tall) tree with a monkey and frog jumping down from its branches. A parrot and parakeet sit on a wheel between the two branches and rotate round and round. A blue and green turtle sits on a yellow Dias that rotates and croaks when you turn the turtle around. On the other side, a blue lizard sits atop a red button. The button makes a different sound everytime you press it.

I pressed the red button once with my right index finger and it made an elephant trumpet sound. Suhaana observed closely. Her right hand inched closer and she pressed the red button herself- hoping for the same sound- but this time it was a monkey shout. She evaluated what went wrong. Then, grabbed my right index finger and took it to the red button to press it!

I have no idea what sound it made 'cause I laughed and laughed!! Suhaana looked at me wondering what happened to mummy.

My Furry Blue Slippers

Yesterday Suhaana saw my blue furry house slippers and instead of trying to put them in her mouth tried to wear them and walk with them! It was so cute seeing her trying to walk with humongous (for her) slippers and also amazing how she observed and decided to try them on herself! Brilliant!

The Tug of Fruit Game

Of all the business opportunities, the toy industry has not capitalized on this game:

Here's how to play it:
Take your favorite blended-fruit pouch- empty pouch works better.
1. Sit in Daddy's lap and offer him the pouch. Push the pouch into Daddy's mouth.
2. Wait for 2 seconds so Daddy holds the pouch in his mouth.
3. Pull the pouch out. Use both hands and all your might if need be.
4. In the end- what is left but a delightful scream, gleeful giggles and belly full of snorts!
5. Now repeat 1 through 5.

PS: Game works on Mommy too, but it really works best on Daddy!
PPS: If cannot get the pouch out even after repeated tries, let out loud annoyed scream. The problem quickly fixes itself.

Enjoy!
From-
Suhaana

Looong Day

Raj and I got stuck at the airport trying to fly back home for more than 4 hours (we'd flown for a day trip for some work and intended to get back within a few hours).

We'd left early at 5, and left Suhaana at home so she's not hassled by the travel. Luckily we had some family who could watch the little girl before the nanny gets in.

We were back at Houston airport by 2:15pm to find that the airport looked like an Indian vegetable market. So many people, just moving from gate to gate, trying to make their connections, enquire about their flights, check if they can be put on standby. The 2 o'clock connection was cancelled and it was made worse by flights coming in late.
Leading to a ripple effect of exasperated passengers waiting to get to their destinations.

Running around from one gate to another in those hours, I was missing Suhaana. We had left early so it had been a long while since I'd seen her. And now it was unclear which flight we would be able to make it in- if at all. After not being able to be accommodated on the next 3 flights, I was getting desperate. At 5, I just wanted to see her!

And in all this, while we moved from one gate to another, dragging our aching feet, all we noticed were the kids at the airport. A family of 5 with 3 kids - all seemed to be similar age groups between 2 and 7. All 3 kids with headphones and gadgets, engrossed in their games. Another family of 4 with 2 kids. Younger one was not happy and let out a scream. 'Suhu does that too sometimes' I thought- gets angry and gets really passionate about something.. A dad with a small baby - probably 6 months old, clutching on to dad, sucking his thumb but otherwise oblivious to the madness around him. 'Suhu sucks her pacifier that cutely too'. A mom with another 8-9 month old baby at the rental car counter- thumping his palms for faster service.

All I could notice was the kids- while I missed my little girl- dying to get back home while all flights to home are cancelled/delayed with too many passengers backed up from previous connections.

Standing at one gate waiting to be put standby for one of the flights I sang her favorite 'Elmo had 4 ducks' song. Raj hummed it too. And then, while we sat down and waited for the next flight, we looked up her photos on my phone. And then we missed her some more! We're such parents!

Finally after waiting for 4 hours, we decided to rent a car and drive down home instead.

At home, this little baby was fast asleep. Although I almost woke her up with all the cuddling and kisses!

Elmo has 4 Ducks

This little girl has a new friend she's very, very fond of.. Elmo!
The moment I sing "Elmo song", delightful, gleeful, giggling begins! Which makes me giggle too. It's so much fun that Elmo songs are now my favorite songs too. And I've made endless renditions of the "Elmo and his ducks" songs to fit just about every situation I'm in.
Right now, Elmo got into his car and is blogging from a parking spot :)

Feel pretty terrible.

I feel pretty terrible.

Suhaana had gone to sleep. I hung around her for awhile. Then switched on the baby monitor and went downstairs. At first only intended to stand outside the door. Then (thanks to such beautiful weather and very pretty resort- like lighting in the part in front of ours') started on impromptu walk just outside the door. Raj's mom was sleeping downstairs. Came back to find poor baby had woken up crying, and didn't find mom or dad coming to get her. Her grandma came to get her. I feel so bad!

She's fast asleep now. Back in her crib (which is in our room). She doesn't know it yet, but she'll be sleeping next to mama tonight, while mama cuddles and smothers her in her sleep (and generally make her uncomfortable ) :-)

Carrying The Pump Can Get Old

I dunno how to put it any better, but I'm sick tired of expressing milk! It's been a looong, arduous, difficult, challenging journey my pump n I have been on last close to 11 months or so. And ironically the difficult and challenging times are actually very much behind me. I conquered the most difficult, night owl months, repetitions of 8 times a day with washing and sterilizing strewn in between. Also worth mentioning - twice when I got very sick, and the constant problems of over production (yes it's a gift and a curse). The recurring blockages and remedial measures. The very real fear of relapse. Being very, very, very vigilant of the elapsed time- is it time for pumping again? Everything else wrapped around it. Life on a repetitive, and very closely monitored watch.

So, yes. All that madness is behind me. And partly I've been lucky and blessed to have much and be able to whether through it. Partly I feel l did DO IT - I give myself some credit for it!

But now, that things have tapered down, and are actually very manageable. Now, I'm just tired of it! I just want to have a drink and sleep when I'm tired in the night without the additional 10-15 minutes' delay of one last pump of the day. I'm tired! There's just no better way to say it.

Bouncer Seat Go Take A Bath

Today while the bouncer seat has gone for a wash (it's a cloth seat so it can be put in the laundry), Suhaana came around looking for her bouncer. There is a small (about 4"wide and 5" long) plastic platform at the bottom of the seat where the batteries go - an alternate place to sit, someone thought.

There are times when she does something so cute or looks so cuddly , I have to stop myself from squeezing her real hard. Ok, so maybe I can't always stop myself, but mostly it's not too tight a cuddle. And most often, she wiggles her way out because she has way too many naughty things to do for herself to get bogged down in mama's arms. We lead a busy life, as you can see!

Just a Regular Afternoon

Where: Starbucks

What: Hot Tea Earl Grey

How: Cool afternoon time for mom n dad, play time for Suhaana.

Activities: Climb tables, bang phones, bang mamma's jewelry on table. Then climb on to stroller. Grab stroller belts. Then back onto the table. Then repeat.

Snacks: Tea for mom n dad. Eat whatever can grab. Snatch a couple of brown sugar packs. Chew on it till it starts tasting more sweet and less papery.

Hindrances: Mainly mom.

Time for an Outing

One day last week Suhaana was ambling around the house. Her car seat was sitting on the floor from where little pooki girl had been disembarked a day before after an outing. Suhaana went after it. She pulled at the straps, and contemplated the design pattern on the car seat cover. I was distracted for a minute or so; and where do I find this girl?
Inside the car seat, holding the straps, looking expectantly "Let's go now" almost!

Mobile News Update

Let's recap for a bit:
Head and neck control? Check.
Vision? Check.
Sideways turning? Check.
Rollover tummy to back? Check.
Rollover back to tummy? Check.
Crawling? Check.
Cruising? Check.
Walking? C.H.E.C.K.!!

Actually it's been going on for last 3-4 weeks. She has been walking for a few steps then falls back down. Sort of uncertain. But as of last week that hurdle of imbalance and uncertainty were crossed with determination. Yes, she's walking, liking it and now preferring it to crawling even (better view while walking) - unless she's on grass where there's the prospect of eating/tasting grass.

I am so very proud of this brave little determined thing!

Meet Fido

Meet Fido. He's a medium brown colored, small dog. About 3-4 inches tall. With droopy eyes and a permanent cute expression, he sports a muffler. He's also one of Suhaana's favorite friends.

Fido actually has a history- its the first present that Raj gave me a long, long time ago. Fido is special.

Yesterday Suhaana was coming downstairs in the morning - riding on her papa's arms. She was watching the stairs and here-n-there. At the foot of the stairs what did she find? Fido. Sitting there since last night. She made a sound to say hello to Fido- good morning! Her dad noticed too. So he took her here-n-there but Suhaana's eyes were glued to Fido. Finally they came at baby-arm's length to Fido. To tiny fingers came, gingerly touched Fido's arm. Caught hold of his muffler. Then pulled it ever so delicately. Soon Fido was in Ms. Suhaana's hands. She let out a giggle of delight and proceeded to taste his nose.

Evening Walks are Mandatory

Evening walks are mandatory. Now they are.

Ms. Haana (as her friend D calls her sweetly) is now so fond of her evening walks to the lake, where she watches the ducks go by, and watches other people walk their dogs, and makes noises at other small kids; she makes a big fuss if we don't go for her walk. Yesterday it was about to rain (boonda-bandi) so I just stood outside the door with her; and poor thing was wondering why is mummy not going, why are we just stanging outside the door but not going anywhere. Finally as a response to her protests, i got an umbrella and Raj and I took her out. We went to the gazebo on the lake and sat there for sometime.

It was a pleasant walk; but don't make the mistake of assuming it was optional!

Fantasy Land Picture

Fantasy Land

I have to admit. For the last 45 minutes or so I've been arranging and rearranging the blocks of a jigsaw block "Fantasy Land" I bought for Suhaana. The blocks are about an inch or inch and a half wide blocks. Multicolored. Multiple shapes. And the complete picture includes castles and tombs and smiling little girl, teddy bear, wolf, a coiled up snake, tiger, bell (for the bell tower), rounded archways, more castles.. It is beautiful! And there oh so many combinations! Do you want to have 2 tall minarets or wider castles with tombs on top. Should the castle have a flag on top. Should it be red or pink? There's a bell tower but is the bell on the tall minaret or on a shorter tower? Where do the star and moon go? Next to the sun? You gotta be kidding me!

Looks like the makers were targeting to the wrong child!

Puddles

Lately since Suhaana has turned into this super squirmy baby, it's been impossible to pin her down. This is especially true in the icky tricky trying times of diaper changes. So, I've devised a new strategy. I have divided diaper changes into two separate activities, ideal for the short be-still timespan of babies.

The first phase: pin baby down, get the old diaper off, clean baby.
Second phase: pin baby down, get new diaper on baby.
Between the two stages, dispose dirty diaper, wash hands etcetera.

This also means that in the time between the two phases that's like those folds between the time-space continuum, we have a bottom-nude diaper less baby running around(crawling around) at home. (Actually one other reason for doing it this way is so that the bottom has time to dry off - before being wrapped up again - but that may be way too much information).

The other day, I'd just completed phase 1. Washed my hands, when I saw this baby running towards me. And not far behind I saw some drops on the tiles, joining and becoming strings of liquid ultimately leading me to a small little puddle sitting discretely between the living room and foyer.

When I look at this girl with laughing eyes and asked her how the puddle came to be, she giggled like I had just become privy to a funny little secret and scuttled in the opposite direction - too much to explore not enough time.

Meanwhile, mama's gotta take care of puddle.

First 5 Steps

Amongst other things we also have a climber abode. If left to her devices this little doll will climb over everything she can. Mom n Dad, ottomans, dining table( from the chair), sofa, stairs( big favorite), tv table; and any other road bump should it present itself.

When she can, she stands up. She holds up and gets up on her feet. Then at times she stands up on her feet, takes a step or two and then falls down.

Today for the very first time, she just took one step after the other and took 5 steps before she fell back down! 5 steps! That has never happened before. Way to go little girl!!!

Suhaana News Update

Haven't done a news update on this little girl for awhile and there is much to report.

We now have an avid crawler in our amidst. Umpteen times when we want her to not get into a certain place, she'll listen to me telling her not to, then go ahead with it anyway. When I go to catch her, it becomes a race. She turns around and scuttles away in a hurry, giggling in anticipation and naughtiness.

Lately she also has learnt several new gestures and tricks. But her favorite word remains "mama"! When I hear it in her baby voice, it's my favorite too.
She also knows how to wave her hand and say "ba-bye". As soon as I come home from work, she waves "ba-bye" to her nanny. We laugh at the apparent indication for her to get going now that mom is here.

The smart cookie also knows how to clap in delight. She loves to "shake" her head, which is funny. Her whole upper body shakes vehemently! This originally started when I was trying to teach her a new action. But later caught more popularity when it was discovered that shaking can be instrumental tool to avoid the persistent spoon full of baby food when one is full or otherwise unwilling. Once she's full, as soon as the spoon gets anywhere in about a feet radius, vigorous shake-the-head begins. Can't help but break into peals of laughter.

I've been trying to teach her "nod". She knows how to high-five but performance is mood dependent.

Delight

This little girl is just such a joy! When she giggles and gives her mischievous look before scuttling off to the next adventure, I just don't know what to do with this much cuteness. I feel blessed. At my bundle of delight called Suhaana.

Who Moved My Cheese?

Suhaana's How To Eat Your Cheese-

Take bite sized American cheese in your mouth. Keep it there till it dissolves. Then transfer it to the kitchen floor (read: spit it on the floor). Stir it vigorously with your index finger. And now it's ready to be slurped right off the floor!!

For best (or any) results dodge parents n care givers before trying.
Also good with carpet dust and other hand toys.
Try it today!

Teeth

Ever wondered what is on the inside of someone's mouth. Ever been fascinated with someone's teeth. So much that you want to pry into their mouth and run your tiny fingers through them?

Well, this little girl Suhaana has. She wakes up and some days finds herself in the middle of mom and dad, both asleep and realizes it's a now-or-never time to fulfill her heart felt desires after-all.

She first tests the waters- moves up to dad's face and lightly pats him.
No reaction.
This is a good sign.
Then she moves closer. And runs her tiny little index finger over his lips.
No reaction.
Time to go all in.
Then, she pokes dad's lips, opens his mouth and gets to the gold.. er.. Teeth.

She runs her fingers through them. Knocks on them. Scratches them.
And suddenly, oh no, dad wakes up. All fun moments must come to an end.

Appearance Can Be Misleading

If you look at the floor beneath the restaurant table we just got up from you'd think someone must have eaten a lot. So much food fell down, you wonder how much must have been on the plate.

That someone is Suhaana and appearances can be misleading.

If Suhaana could write

If Suhaana could write, here's what she would write:
Yesterday at sleep time daddy took me upstairs to put me to bed. I somehow made it through the diaper change and face wash. And then daddy put me down on the bed to get me into the sleep sack. Oh how I love to get to the bed! It's the fun-est place! I love the pillows. I love it when I stand against the pillows and sometimes suddenly the pillow falls over me. And all of us fall down and land back on the bed. Its a lot of fun! I was monkeying around with the pillows when daddy started the hide and seek game.

One time daddy hid behind the bed, I didn't know where he went. I thought I'd go looking for him. But he suddenly appeared, out of nowhere! I turned around, scrambled and ran but almost ran over mommy. Mommy got me in her arms. But Daddy was right behind. And he got me too. And I was giggling and giggling. And mommy and daddy were laughing real hard too. And we did this over and over again. It was so much fun.

Located a new found skill

Located a new found skill - put your hands together and clap! And on occasion, mood permitting - waving! Now that's some serious skill arsenal in the already cuteness filled babyhood.

Who is Suhaana?

Remember the tiny little flickering dot on the grainy ultrasound screen. Isn't it amazing that that little flickering dot is today this naughty little, super active, heart melting cuteness!

Remember the grainy profile of a tiny baby on the ultrasound, when trying to capture the leg; the baby quickly moved away to hide her leg away? That's this naughty little thing.
Just doesn't stop amazing me!

So Long Adventure Sports

We are now a gated community and guess who is not happy about it.

We just installed a gate on the stairs so Suhaana cannot go crawling on the stairs. Yes, Suhu was quite upset and cranky when she realized the new found adventure sport she was just beginning to enjoy so much is now behind bars - literally. But ever since the gate's been affixed, she's been eying how we open and close it carefully. She's making a mental note of it. I think she realizes that we've gotten an upper hand right now, but only for so long.

Reminds me of another game that I just pulled out of her reach this evening - blinds. The living room window blinds are low enough for her to reach up to. And once she reaches them, there's no end to how much fun can be had :-) Lately my naughty little baby has been climbing up to the blinds and pretty much hanging from the blinds. Very dangerous. And very fun to babies. If babysrus makes blinds as toys for babies it'll be an instant hit!

Just cannot remember what it was.

Once again during the evening as I was spending time with Suhaana, a thought crossed my mind and I made a mental note to duly note it in my blog post. And not for the first time, I'm sitting here trying to recollect what it was, and just can't remember it!

Its like chasing butterflies.. Always so close, just at hand, but wickedly elusive and enticing at the same time!

Stairway to Heaven

This past Saturday, we were hanging out at home. Raj was sitting on the stairs while we were talking. Suhaana crawled close to Daddy. Then, while we were busy talking, she began tackling the stairs. Before we realized what she's up to, she was up 4 stairs! That was Saturday and with some effort.

Come Tuesday, it was time for a second try. Mummy and I were watching her, and she decided the stairs look like they need some conquering. So she took off, this time with effortless ease and speed. I kept watching (at arms length for safety) in disbelief as she quickly took off TWO FLIGHT OF STAIRS in seconds!!!

Stairway gates have been duly ordered and expedited since.

Bedroom furniture

It's human nature to see the grass as being greener on the other side and of growing increasingly tired of the furniture you own long before its anywhere near worn out ( all those baby cribs that are advertised as convertible to a full/twin sized bed- probably wouldn't be around long enough for that). I'd grown really tired especially of my bedroom furniture. But given the paucity of time and the fact the I'm picky about what I like (have grown to be that way), we've learnt to coexist.

But my bed just experienced a tremendous change in fortunes, so as to say. After being ignored for this long, finally there's someone who appreciates all the delicate work and moldings that it's constructed with - as much love and attention to detail as much wood itself! Yes, Suhaana loves the bed. The headboard has some carvings, and she loves to stand up holding the pillows and get up to the headboard and run her fingers over the wood work. She enjoys it so much, she starts on it usually as soon as she gets up in the morning. She has a blast, usually peppered with her falling off the pillow, falling back and landing on the bed, full of giggles! I'm sure our bed feels vindicated!

Roarrr

Birds chirp. Horses neigh. Cows moo. Dogs bark. Cats meaow. Sheep bleat. And Suhaana? Roars!

These days this little lioness gets up on her toes and tries to pull herself out of the pack-n-play or crib and while doing that lets out a variety of sounds most resembling a roar! It's a surprise the crib slats don't just melt away in fear :-)

I want her- not you mom

Now that mom is here, we got Indian channels on television. She doesn't watch a whole lot of tv, but it's still a much needed entertainment option for mom.
The other day, i had the pleasure of not watching this indian reality series where they were showing a real life family scuffle- the wife/mom was quite tired of having a female relative over, and wanted her out. The relative in question, she couldn't leave because the kid (teenager) wanted her there. They asked the 'kid' in question, and he says, my mon is never around (she worked), and never helps me with homework or encourages me to do anything or is involved with what's happening with me. I want to stay with my aunt and not with my mon.

Now, earlier, my take on this episode would've been just a general dislike and disapproval at the degenerate content of prime time shows. Dealing with incessant family drama, propagating backward thinking and social fear mongering.

But now, being a parent I had another take on it. (I do still dislike such shows and usually can't stand to watch through them- but in this case, I didn't have the 'pleasure' of watching it- I just heard about it.) My first thought was - it must be hard for a parent to hear from your child that I'd rather stay with someone else instead of my mom- for whatever reason. And not being able to spend as much time as you'd like for any reason is as much a difficult choice for a parent to make as a child to go through. I somehow like to think it's easier on the child because they get busy with other stuff - caregivers, grandparents, siblings, school- whatever fills their days. That may be a little bit of wishful thinking too. Knowing or at least feeling that your child is having a great time away from you, makes your own separation anxiety ease off a tiny little bit.

On the other hand, it's probably not too out of place for teenagers to rebel against much of what their parents do; feel that they're being oppressed or somehow wronged in all sorts of imaginative ways. I get that. But it's a lot easier to swallow when there isn't another person involved - when it isn't I want her- not you mom!

I wonder how I would react to something like that. And I really don't know. I just feel crazy in love with this little girl, and I hope when she grows up, she's as close to me as she is right now.

What Children Want

Last few days have been long days at work. Occasional long hours had never been a big issue earlier. It's the nature of software. But now, post Suhaana, being away at work and not playing games with her, tickling her silly or rolling on the bed with her, not filling her up with kisses and hugs; is a bitter pill to swallow.

Yesterday when I got back from work after a 13 hour work day, I was dying to hold this little girl in my arms. I didn't let go of her all evening. Mom tells me she was visibly missing me towards the evening. It breaks my heart.

I was talking to someone yesterday and heard this phrase that it's a good thing you're working longer hours; cause you're making more money. To me, money is important. But even more so, quality of life has always been more important to me. And life since Suhaana, has changed courses. After a certain point, I'd just rather spend time with this naughty little thing at home than anything else.

It reminds me of something a friend had said to me.. And it somehow stuck: children don't need much. They don't need fancy clothes, new toys, great amenities... All the things money can buy. They just need love and attention. They don't need anything else.

And I feel every single day that's so very true.

Sooner than I know

Looking through some of Suhaana's photos on the iPhone, makes me muse how quickly she's growing up. Sooner than I realize, she'll be going to school, having her circle of friends, having her own opinions, her own likes and dislikes. Soon the games that hold her interest would no longer be just the games we play together. Her dreams would be distinct from the dreams I have for her.

Soon I would no longer be carrying her around in my arms and she would no longer be holding my fingers to go places.

Epic Battle

Right now, there's an epic battle being waged. The war between the Sleep fairy (Nina bai in Hindi) and Suhaana. Nina bai comes faithfully to pick up Suhaana in her feathers and take her along in a bed of clouds to the dreamy fairyland.

But Suhaana, adamant on standing her post, refuses to go anywhere. Nina bai, perhaps encouraged by our support, tries harder, cajoles and tries to force her will on the girl. Little does Nina bai know, force doesn't go well with the little girl. She returns the favor by ruffling the Sleep Fairy's feathers and sends her packing where she came from.

Now, I'm all love for sleep fairies and I certainly appreciate their valiant efforts. But so cute my little girl is; I'm all on Suhaana's side. It seems like the wise choice too, since that's the winning side!

Leaving for work

Most days when I leave for work Suhaana is fast asleep. She gets up around 5, has her milk and goes right back to sleep. But today, she was up and about at 5. She was rolling around on the bed, till I finally got up.

My mom picked her up and got her downstairs. As I was fixing to go to work, Suhaana was just watching me, with naughty and watchful eyes. Watching if mommy will play with her some more or is she leaving. So heart meltingly cute, I just didn't want to leave for work. It's way easier when she's sleeping and I hover over her and cover her with kisses before leaving for work. All the while she's fast asleep and merely twitching at the mild annoyance of having me snuggle her.

No, it's difficult leaving for work when she's asleep and it's way more difficult with her big eyes watching me fixing to leave. Because every second, I feel like running back and taking her in my arms and coddle her some more.

Newborn photo

Recently one of my very good friends got me a mouse pad at work - a kind where you can store a photo inside the plastic flap. I'd been thinking of taking a photo of Suhaana to work for sometime, but just hadn't gotten around to printing some new photos. Not wanting to delay any further, I just decided to stick in a photo I had at home:

Taken on day 2 of Suhaana, it was a photo of the hospital sofa. With the little baby in Raj's arms sleeping tight. Raj looking up into the camera (that I was holding), with sleep starved red eyes. It's a beautiful photo.

This Morning's Wake up Call

This morning I woke up to the sound of a crying Suhaana. I went over to her crib. And what do I see?
Not the usually expected scene of a baby lying in her crib and crying for comfort. No. It was this baby standing on her legs holding the ledge of her crib with both her hands, looking over to our bed (her crib is in our room over the corner). And crying come and get me:) The scene of her peeking from top of the crib ledge is just too cute to forget.

Mothers Day

Belated happy mothers' day to one and all.

I've heard so many sappy stories about "how I love my mom", and even though I do too (for sure I appreciate my mom more now than I ever did before).. But I'm just a little too sap-
ped out of all those mushy emotions. I'd made plans for my mom n I going and spending some time at a salon, and get pampered. Not only did that not happen, after spending hours and hours in the kitchen standing- making breakfast, then tea, then lunch and then Suhaana's home made meal plan, then having lunch; in between feeding her breakfast, then lunch, then shower .. I was just exhausted.. Another late night and I'm just energy sapped.

And I Miss You..

Everyday these days, I get to work. I'm usually alone since I come in early. And as I'm trying to get a good chunk of the day's work taken care of before the meetings and distractions begin; suddenly, in the midst of work, I just miss my little Suhaana. I think of her either sleeping or rolling around on the bed in half sleepy, half playful mode, after her morning feeding. Making "wa-ga" sounds, patting at pillows (we get her on the bed once she gets up in the morning). Wearing her night suit, which, this morning was the dark pink sleep and play suit with a big cupcake on her chest, gifted by one of my friends (thank you so very much!).

There's no better way to say it.. I just miss her so much!

Attested by Grandmas

And now it's been attested by the grandmas too. My mom is here visiting us and my mom's two sisters were in town with us for a week. And all of them experienced first hand what I've been saying all along.

That my 6 months old doll is so very super active and naughty baby! It's impossible for her to be still for a minute. Her hands will be tapping or hitting or discovering something, while her legs are wildly kicking. All the while, she'll be rolling around and more.

Is it a surprise, even while sleeping she's constantly moving.

Not your usual baby games

Raj and I went out for a little bit, while Suhaana was being watched by grandmas ( my mom and her two sisters). When we came back, Suhaana and her grandmas were sitting outside in the front lawn. (We live in a townhome where our upstairs room balcony opens facing the front lawn. Also our next door neighbor has a similar -though not the same- floorplan. Their upstairs balcony opens into their front lawn that's right next to ours'.

When we came back from outdoors, I came and gave my doll a big sloppy kiss and hug. Then ran upstairs to freshen up. Then, I opened my balcony window to wave and blow air kisses at her from the second floor. She kept looking.. Smiling just a little bit, but mainly just looking. I was just running back downstairs, when I remembered I had to put clothes in the dryer. I wrapped that up, then came downstairs.

My mom was reporting later, that my doll was watching me from downstairs. Once I closed the balcony door, she started looking at the nearby balcony door on the other side (our neighbors') for a long time. Expecting I'll be playing peekaboo coming from the other side, next time. She kept looking and looking for me to come out from the other door for a long while.

My mom told me this at night, at it was just so heart melting! Can't believe I was busy putting laundry at that time.. But its just so sweet..

Also makes me feel how very fragile kids are. Not just physically, but in their tiny, little hopes and expectations. And daunting to think how easy it is to affect them without ever even realizing it.

So, You Want To Eat That?

As of last 2 weeks, Suhaana is on a schedule of solid foods 3 times a day. She's been introduced to organic carrots, spinach, green peas and pears (all pureed); in addition to her rice cereal. And I have to say, she's taking to it just fine.

Some of the pureed baby food came in a small pouch, with a toothpaste tube kind of opening. Yesterday as I finished giving the little girl her last solid meal of the day, there was still some organic, pureed pear that was left in the pouch. Baby food has a limited shelf life once opened, and this pouch couldn't be fed to her the next day. It still had some pear left in it. Since it smelt so deliciously saccharine, I was glad to finish it off. Just as I was finishing up the contents of the pouch, the little girl was all interested in getting her hands on it. And, as with all interesting things, this one ended up naturally in her mouth. Only this time, instead of stopping her, I just pressed on the pouch; so it released some of the pear right into her mouth.

Poor little thing was so surprised at the sudden explosion of food in her mouth, she recoiled. Raj and I laughed our evil laughs of parenthood for the next several minutes!

Who's Stress Is That, Anyway?

Here there are the beautiful weather days in Dallas. Suhaana mausam (melodiously pleasant weather). And to celebrate them as such, we decided to picnic by the lake with friends of ours' last Sunday.

When we reached, the little doll was asleep. A rickety stroller ride on the grass didn't wake her up either. But as I moved in on the food, she woke up. Inspite of usually being quite happy outdoors (she literally giggles with joy as soon as we take her out for evening walks closer to home), something didn't feel good to her. Poor little doll started crying, and so inconsolably, we didn't know what to do. We tried the distractions, the walkings, the talkings, but the sobs continued. We all packed up early to head back. I felt really bad for her, but only until we got back in the car and headed back. Because as we did that, suddenly all was well again.

Which gets me to the most intriguing, million dollar, soul searching question of all times... Why do babies cry? The next day, I hit the internet forums, to search for other parents who might have been in our predicament.. any insights they might have gained. Any wisdom they may have acquired. But found a large volume of similar sounding advice, none of which fit her case. (Everybody claims all ailments with babies 6 months of age are related to teething. But, what kind of teething pain would start as soon as we reach the lake, and vanish as soon as we're back in the car?)

As her doctor says (when I've grilled her for answers on previous occassions), "One may never know why the baby cries". But as a child psychologist says (found this on an online forum yesterday): "Some of the crying is actually good for the baby. It releases stress". To which, I'd say, I'm not sure who's stress my doll might be releasing by crying. But it sure isn't mine! And doesn't look like her's is getting released either..

What a boast-er!

I'm having a hard time resisting the urge to just walk up to just any/every one in the hallway and boasting how my cute, little girl is crawling and going places!

The Landmark of Crawling

Yesterday was a landmark day! Remember the crawling that Suhaana has been almost able to do but then not quite yet? She would get on all fours, take one step forward and then fall on her chest? Well, we just graduated from that class! As of yesterday, the little girl is able to go places now. She crawls! Me and Raj were just looking at each other laughing in disbelief as the little doll was coolly striding away on the carpet.

In fact it would've been a landmark day even without the crowning jewel of crawling under Suhaana's belt. When I kept her down on the carpet to play yesterday, I thought she would lie down and roll over. But instead, she sat! She had been an assisted sitter for the last few weeks - she was able to sit with some back support. But as of yesterday afternoon, she was sitting by herself, with her little doll and looking around at toys to pat and smash nearby! I was amazed at how coolly she was sitting by herself, looking around; as I was hovering around trying to get a good picture of this new feat.

I should add, at this point, that as of last week, the little girl has also been walking by holding hands. We actually took a video of this one (turns out we're far behind on keeping up with her, she's doing something new every day!). Some days I just stack her next to the sofa, and she's able to stand for a few seconds holding the sofa seat with her hands. If she sees something on one corner that she wants to grab with her hands, she slides towards it rather quickly. If the sofa seat has the ipad and photos she can look at and shining screen that actually does something as she touches it, the standing lasts longer.

Her grandmother (my mom) who joins us next week, can't wait to get her hands on her. And as much as I already smother her, niether can I.

Friends

When they initially met, they didn't hit it off very well. In fact, I distinctly remember Suhaana outrightly dashing all my hopes of their togetherness by grimacing on their first meeting.

But slowly, they learnt to tolerate each other. With each passing day, little by little, they grew more fond of each other. And then came a stage when they grew to be best friends almost. But then, suddenly, the friendship cooled off. They're no arch enemies, but no friends either.

Such has been the topsy-turvy journey of the friendship between Suhaana and her Pacifier.

Half Year Checkup

Last week was Suhaana's half year check up. And after the question-and-answer session with her doctor, that meant it was time for vaccinations. One oral vaccine and two shots at either leg. And while she did cry, it wasn't too bad. Here's how it happened:

(Vaccine-nurse enter. I sign digital form that okays them to stick a needle into the little one.)
Suhaana lying on the table.
Nurse starts with oral vaccine: sticks the oral syringe (not a syringe at all, more like a travel size toothpaste tube) into her mouth.
Little girl doesn't appreciate this but is still curious about this new thing in her mouth.
Second or two elapse.
She's made up her mind about it, she doesn't like it one bit. Grimaces.
Time for the real syringes now. Nurse trying to clamp down her leg.
Little girl realizes somethings' up. Revolts albeit weakly at first.
Syringe 1 poke.
Ouch-moment crying.
Quick clamp down leg 2.
How-dare-you crying.
Syringe 2 poke.
Mix of ouch-and-get-me-outta-here crying.
Done, nurse is out of the room.
Angry crying.
I pick up my poor little baby! I feel for her..
The doll, sensing that the worst is probably over, calms down, relaxes a little. Crying is over.
I get her into a sling and wear her right next to me.
On my way out, I stop to make the next appointment for her 9th month checkup.
Little girl is fidgety. Her legs are probably paining.
I get her into the car soon.
My doll is visibly fidgety and uneasy.
I quickly get behind the wheel, switch radio to FM 101.1 Classical Music; I'm thinking it may calm her by listening to some soothing music.
Little doll growing more and more uneasy. A little whiny now. Things are heading south.
Damage control.. I switch radio channels, turn to Classic Rock.
Something strikes a chord with her. Suddenly, all's well in Suhaana-land.
I realize there's something she did inherit from me after all!

Back to Work. Day 1,2 and 3.

And finally the day arrived. April 15th. Tax day, yes. But also marked in red on my calendar as the day I join back work. After a break of 6 months and 22 days. And ever since I'd committed to joining in on 4.15, the days have been rolling off at an even faster pace.

It's my third day back at work today, and even though the first day is supposed to be the hardest, it hasn't gotten any easier so far. In fact, I have a feeling this is going to get a whole lot harder. That is because while I'm doing just half days for the first two weeks, I'll move into the usual full day schedules from week 3, and that's when things would get busy.

That said, I do have a lot to be thankful for. I'm getting back to an excellent team - folks I've worked with, known and been friends with for a long time. I feel quite fortunate to know such good people and to work with them. My boss is someone who values me immensely and has been especially flexible towards all my requests and needs. I had been postponing getting back to work for quite some time now, but he's been very, very understanding. I also, requested to do only half days for the first two weeks, to ease into the work schedule and have someone watching the little girl. I feel like I'm getting back amongst friends.

Even so, the drive from home to work on day 1, was the bad. Since the night before, I felt so uneasy. It was as if I were going for a big test. I could barely sleep the night before. And that morning, I felt strangely numb. Little Suhaana was sleeping unaware. She'd gotten up several times during the night, and Raj had taken up the night duty. But as I was getting ready to leave, she was deep in her beauty sleep. Lying on her tummy, a cute little, inviting, cuddle-fest. Anyhow, I tried not to wake her up, and left before 8am.

At work, my team had, quite characteristically, hidden my work computer, and replaced it with a museum grade typewriter from the year 1830 (the latest technology desktop - they claimed), added 3 more telephone lines to make it look like the command center for all defects; and amassed a huge pile of documents-to-be-taken-care-of.. the "In" pile. We laughed about it for hours. Most of the day I answered questions about how Suhaana is. Leading right up to a welcome lunch.

Day 2 starting off was actually worse. The little girl was up, had just been fed (by Raj again) and was busy with her morning round of fun-n-games on the bed next to Raj. It was harder leaving her behind this time.

Day 3 morning was quite similar to Day 2. The tiny cuddle-ball had just gotten up as I was leaving at 6:40am. Just in time for me to smother her with kisses, as she gave me the are-we-done-yet look :)

I might sound a bit weepy, and though I'm glad to see all my good friends and great coworkers; it's still hard getting back to work. And though getting back to work, and into an active technical area was always a given for me, the real question being only when, and not whether; I still question if this arrangement is what is best for Suhaana. Especially as I look for and sift through the options of care centers and nannies for her from her 10th month. (My mom who gets here in 2 weeks, would leave by then.) Yesterday, I went to tour a montessory/care center for her; and I was reading some papers on their policies, that went into detail talking about how early parents need to pick up their sick child, and how long they must wait before they can send their sick child back to the center. Just the tone sounded like the child ends up being a pass-the-buck-liability between the center and the parents. I do realize I'm being overly touchy about this, but for anything else (including work), I wouldn't think of my child as a liability I need to manage between work. Meanwhile, the little girl has more smothering hugs headed her way as soon as I get off from work.

The big splash in town

Splash! Splitter! Splash. Splash..
That's the sound of my little doll in her bath tub. And bath times have never been that much fun before she figured out that kicking in the air is fun.. But kicking in water is what makes for the big splash!

From Tripod to Table

Sifting through some photos, shouldn't call them old photos, they're just from 2 or 3 weeks back. And I realized I forgot to log this:
What started off as a tripod is now a table. This little girl Suhaana keeps trying to get up, and reach places , touch enticing new things and finally put them in her mouth. But earlier she was not able to get up much at all. Up until 2-3 weeks back, she would get on her tummy and either be able to get up on her legs or be able to get up on her hands, both wouldn't happen at the same time. So, she used to end up doing a combination.


She would get on her tummy, get up on her hands, look around and chart out interesting toys to taste, then fall back on her tummy. Then get up on her legs, her head sliding away on the carpet or mattress as she charts her way in the general direction of the toy. I used to call this one her tripod stage- with her feet and head sliding away on the carpet and her butt kissing the sky!

But no more. She's graduated since. Now she's able to quickly get on her tummy and get on all fours. I'm watching out for that initial first step of crawling stage. So far, she takes one step then falls over. I don't think that counts.. But we're very, very close.,

Dont be too quick to judge.

Let's not be too quick as to judge a parent. There is not a stress test on the planet to emulate the kind of stress a parent's last nerve gets put through..

Most first time parents..

Most first time parents have never experienced a dependence so complete as a newborn's. A newborn baby has such intense needs - not just for being fed and changed; but also for comfort, love, warmth and affection. I remember (it's going to be half a year now already!) feeling totally surprised at just how big a tiny baby's needs are.

But, on the same note, most first time parents have never experienced a trust so complete and absolute as an infant's in her parents. I don't think many civilians get into a situation where someone trusts them with their life. And yet, parents are there every day, every single minute of each day.

And even if it is argued that the trust and connection that an infant has with the parents are purely evolution-driven, hard-wired survival instincts; the love a parent feels welling in your heart as you stare into the smiling, mischievious eyes of an infant and ask her what the recent sounds from the diaper were all about; or as she falls asleep in the arms - is so unparalleled with any feeling, any love you've ever experienced before. So intense and powerful. And with all the diaper changes and midnight getting out of bed, it is this love that can not be truely explained.

Tornado Heading Our Way

A couple days ago our area saw somewhere between 6 to 12 tornadoes (the exact number pending investigative reports). And while the tornado headed our way, Suhaana was made to wade it our in her car seat below the dining table. Suhaana was quite puzzled initially at why she was strapped into the car seat, but not loaded into the big bouncer (car) and going anywhere. She had that "Are we going yet" look for a precious few seconds, quickly giving away to "Get me outta here"! But here's what unravelled:

The morning started like any other. Quite pleasant spring day. I checked the weather online and it only said thunderstorm warning. I thought.. no big deal. Thunderstorms come and go, and if indoors, rarely mean much.

Then, in about two hours, in the middle of the afternoon (about 1pm) it was getting very dark. I stood outside with Suhaana for a bit. It was dark and very still. Not a leaf was moving. I mused, this looks like the still before the storm, laughed about it and headed indoors.

In less than an hour, I was deep into the laptop, when I got a phonecall. It was a friend saying that a tornado is heading directly towards us, in 10 minutes. Take shelter!! As soon as I kept the phone, the sirens went off. Tornado sirens. Alarm gave way to fear. Switched on the TV, and they were showing sattelite images of tornadoes heading directly our way. Rain had started and with it, hail too. I rackled my brain for the safest place to be at home. The bedrooms and closets are upstairs. And the downstairs is pretty open and airy. Finally decided after consultation with Raj, downstairs below the dining table it is. I put the little girl in her car seat, strapped her nice and snug. Got to the middle of the house below the dining table. Raj called up, and another friend. They were at work, and all of them had been told to head to shelter areas immediately.

Luckily our community did not get effected directly. But nearby cities and counties - merely 20-30 minutes drive got hit very bad with lots of homes damaged.

By the evening, all this had passed, and we were seeing images and videos on the TV and internet.. of trucks and 18 wheelers flying in the air like paper planes... pretty crazy!

Crawling on a Treadmill

These days, in a bid to start crawling, strange things are happening. Earlier, when on her tummy, she either would be able to get her arms stretched out or, would be able to have her legs straightened out. Both wouldn't happen together. Now, she can have both the arms and legs stretched, so she can actually get off the ground on her hands and knees. But, instead of taking a step to go forward, she just leans forward and backward.

It reminds of a certain pelvic tilt exercise recommended during pregnancy. It also looks to me like she's trying to crawl but not getting anywhere - like crawling on a treadmill!

Rough Nights (continues)

Turns out I was wrong. Either that or I'm digging my own grave.

Last week, as the little girl was getting up in the dead of the night, unpacifiable (just invented that word), I was dead sure it wasn't for hunger. I tried everything including sideways sleeping which I theorized was going to be the key to my beauty sleep. Well, it wasn't.

But turns out, when offered milk, she did finish the bottle (thank you very much) in a hurry.

I'm usually all against setting bad precedents. And adding a graveyard-shift snack time would fall squarely into that prescient. But, since nothing else had worked, I resigned myself to this new 3am snack time. And while she would otherwise cry for hours at a stretch, the snack does seem to pacify her so far.

On the other hand, this may be a sign of the times to come. Where no longer do we (as parents) dictate the goings in our lives. (that may take some getting used to!)
..

Three states of matter: gas, liquid and solid

After surviving on the first two for more than 5 months, Suhaana finally started on the third: solids.
It's been two weeks, that we finally started her on rice cereal. I had heard so much about "expect tongue thrust for two weeks", where babies reject whatever is pushed in their mouth, that I was quite surprised when she seemed quite accepting right off the bat.

The other day, while feeding the little girl, she seemed to be so very excited about eating her once-a-day rice cereal meal, that I was amazed. And also all appreciative about her eating habits. It seemed like she couldn't wait to get next bite into her mouth. She was actually getting annoyed if the spoon was pulled out of the mouth. And while I was all appreciative, to my dismay, I realized very quickly, her excitement was in fact for the spoon.

I'd gotten rubber tipped spoons for her, and she was dying to chew on them. She couldn't care much about what the spoon came laden with. It was the spoon she wanted!

Rough Nights

Last few nights have been especially rough. The little girl is getting up at 3AM like clockwork. Crying and cranky. And not ready to calm down. Tried to reassure her, we're there for her, cuddle her, pat her back to sleep, offer her pacifier, distract her with music, tried to burp her, change her diaper. Tried to get her to sleep next to me instead of the crib, offer her milk. But nothing works for longer than a minute or so. And the end of which, she's crying again. This goes on and on for more than one and half hour.

I'm pretty positive it's not hunger. Her last feeding is 11PM, and she can go much longer than 4 hours in the night without needing to get up to snack. I personally feel, she's used to sleeping on her side during the day (in her pack-n-play, during the day, she sleeps on her side propped by pillows - have ok-ed the pillows in pack-n-play since she's never unattended while she's in there. But in the crib, strictly follow the guidelines of n.o.t.h.i.n.g. in the crib for safety), and she tries to sleep on the side in the crib. But with no pillows to support this sideways sleeper, she tends to fall on her tummy and wake up sleepy and frustated.

After an hour of constant crying at 3AM, I have to say, I start loosing it. And that is, inspite of the fact that I know that small babies are just communicating a need by crying (as opposed to older kids who may be capable of throwing a tantrum). I think about it and I feel so bad for her. But, yesternight even though I was trying my best to be patient and reassuring and comforting.. Towards the end, I was loosing it. I think the little girl could sense the tension too, 'cause the poor thing cried harder. I feel so bad now when I think about it. I got her on the bed, propped her on her side using pillows, made sure she's safe and then I actually left her and walked out of the room to take a breather. She kept crying for a little bit, then fell asleep. In a minute or so, all was quiet.

For tonight, I intend to make her prop on her side in the crib (ensuring she's safe as well). I don't know how it will go tonight, but atleast I have a plan.

Tall Tales

After routinely not having much time for myself and weeks of trying to schedule time for a haircut - here I am. At my darling hairdressers' - friend of my hair for several years. At while I'm here I'm going to throw in a bonus highlight too!

Reminds me of an incident years ago. A friend of mine was telling me his daughter said she's thinking about getting lowlights done. I told him there's no such thing as lowlights (blame limited fashionista exposure at that time). He said 'No, there really is.' His daughter told him. I just laughed at him. Telling him his daughter is probably laughing at the amount of random stories she can make her dad believe. (he's used to my mean jokes, and he still talks to me!) It actually goes back to the kind of stuff I used to try to get my dad to believe. Such as: exasperated at how his slow driving, when they built a new expressway (tollway) in Delhi I tried to make him believe that the speed limit signs were for the minimum allowable speed.

I don't know how many stories Suhaana is going to come up with to blow smoke in my eyes. But I'm quite positive, in parenting, what goes around is what comes around. So I'm getting ready for some tall tales.

Grasping

These days the little girl is big into grasping - also means holding, pulling, pushing, smashing, crushing, dropping, pinching, puncturing and then, eating!

Maternity Leave

As I prepare mentally to get back into the workforce middle of next month after a break of what would be over 6 months, I hesitate. The prospect of going back to work was always there, but just locking in on a date makes it become more real and imminent. Cold feet.

But as I look at going back to work after an elected, unpaid time off, here's something for comparison: In Norway, they have 8 months of 100% paid maternity leave, with an option of extending by 6 months with 80% pay. If that feels like an anomaly then Sweden has 436 days of combined maternity and paternity leave.

Doubts

This lady who used to work as a nanny /babysitter at another place was telling me about how well the baby (at her previous work place) used to eat. It seems he used to finish 8 bottles of milk by mid morning. And used to eat a variety of foods quite enthusiastically. He was chubby, round and oh so cute!

All this talk about cute, cuddly, chubby babies planted a seed of doubt in my mind. Just last week Raj had asked me, should our little girl be bigger and/or rounder and/or chubbier? I had shrugged at that point, saying she's just fine. Most of the time people (close friends and family) don't necessarily know what they're asking for. And her doctor says she has been doing just fine. So, I had shrugged his concern saying she's just fine.

But as this lady was talking about all the bottles of milk and variety of foods that this other baby, who is actually younger than this little girl, is devouring; I have self doubts.. Should we be giving her a bunch of other things to eat too? So far she's been only on liquid diet. Should she be drinking more? Is she not getting enough fat in her diet?

But then I look at her and she seems just so perfect. It's one thing to be taking decisions for yourself and be sure you're doing the right thing. It's quite another to be responsible for this little peanut, and be sure that every decision is the best there is. I'm hoping the latter gets easier with practice.

How does the future sound?

Of the latest tricks up Suhaana's sleeve is to tightly close her lips and then blow hard, causing an occasional far-reaching splutter of spit along with a pfft-pfrr sound.

I anticipate hearing a lot of that sound in my future: both near future and long term!

Size 2

Let me make note of this day as the day that we moved from size 1 to size 2 of diapers. Years later if Suhaana ever asks me, 'Mom, when I was a little baby, when did I move to size 2 diaper?' I will know exactly when!

Or, (more probable scenario), she wouldn't care for it at all, and I'll keep reminding her of the-day-she-went-to-size-2, while she attempts to block it out of her mind!

Resistance is Useless

The most beautiful face is that of Suhaana's when I'm loading her up with kisses on her cheeks and she's looking sideways, open-mouthed, laughing-smiling, letting me manhandle her, smothering her completely.

She's learnt at least one thing about me: resistance is useless!

A small jump for Suhaana, a giant leap for..

It has been a few weeks since we introduced Suhaana to the jumparoo. A jumparoo is this toy thing where the infant can be placed (once neck control is achieved), he/she is kept securely in a standing position (with support) and the infant can have fun jumping up and down. It's good for the leg muscles before the child has started to walk.

We'd placed Suhaana in the jumparoo that I borrowed from a friend before. Her feet barely touched the floor, and for a few minutes she seemed to be giving it a fair trail. But past the two minute mark, she would be pretty much done with it. We tried the same routine with the same mixed success rate several times.

But as of yesterday everything has changed. For one, i realized she must've grown taller because her feet are now securely on the floor while she's in the jumparoo. And she has finally cracked the jumparoo code, and discovered it's actually quite fun to jump. Now, there's no stopping her! Put her in the jumparoo and she jumps and jumps and giggles all the while.

As for giggles, that's one thing I can give her company with. Especially while I'm watching her have so much fun.

Tough Call

Suhaana is good on time. She consistently goes to sleep at the same time every evening. She gets up at pretty much the same time every morning for her first feeding of the day. It just so happens that that happens to be between 4 and 4:30 am. I've so wished that her schedule somehow moves just ever so slightly so she gets up at 6 instead of at 4.

Last time on her 4 month checkup I asked her pediatrician. How can I move her schedule so she gets up just a little later. I had tried to force feed her more in the night, it hadn't worked. I had tried to force her be awake a little bit longer, that hadn't gone too well. I had tried to pacify her when she got up in the morning without milk, that hadn't gone too well either.

Her doctor said the way that works is: if you get up every morning to have a sandwich, you're used to that meal at the same time every day. Even if you've had enough for the day, you'll still need to have a sandwich on the morning. So, the thing to do is, to reduce the morning meal size little by little every day slowly, so that she no longer has the habit of a feeding at 4 am every morning. But if you don't feed her at 4 or feed her lesser than what she wants, and she gets up soon after, hungry again, then she's not ready to give up her 4 am snack, she'll need more time.

Armed with these guidelines I decided to reduce her early morning feeding size. But I have to say, it's difficult. Not that she puts up any resistance. She just finishes the milk I give her, takes the pacifier and is fast asleep in no time. But it's difficult to give her less when I know she's super hungry and can take more. And yet, I'm so looking forward to stop getting up at 4.

No one said this was going to be easy.

Peek-a-boo

Yesterday I saw something that made me stop dead in my tracks. The little girl had been put down in her pack-n-play for a little nap. What I saw was Suhaana laying on her back in her pack n play with her receiving blanket over her face upto her head. My heart skipped a beat.

I had read and heard enough about SIDS to freak out if there's anything within a one feet radius of her face while she sleeps.

But then when I noticed she was awake, and was actually pulling the blanket over head, I curbed my instinct to pull the blanket away from her face, and instead decided to just watch what was going on.

Turns out, she had just woken up and was done inspecting her toes and fingers. All of them were still around and looked pretty much in the same health and spirits as she had left them before the nap. She then inspected her surroundings. An unsuspecting cotton blanket was within arm's reach. She caught hold of it's end, then pulled it over her head. Then pulled it down again. And this time, looked around inspecting if the world still looks the same. Repeat several times.

She was doing her own peek-a-boo! Once I figured out what the game was, I gladly played background score of an animated "peek-a-booooo"!

And yes, receiving blankets only under close circuit monitoring.

New Bundle Of ...

This is something that quite surprised me when Suhaana was just born. The newborn days are quite intense in that it's a big change for the parents - well, for first time parents. The relative carefree lifestyle we were living was completely overhauled as soon as the baby entered the picture. I was amongst the youngest kids in my family, so I never really knew quite what to expect, the true intensity of how much life changes when a baby arrives- overnight.

The first few days of parenthood were simply magical.. I was awe struck by this tiny little fragile thing, I could hardly take my eyes off of her. I remember the first night, I couldn't sleep a wink because I couldn't bear to close my eyes and not see her. When I told some friends and family about this, they laughed at me. Veteran parents know how quickly sleep and exhaustion catches up with you. And how intense it can be initially.

We were so exhausted, sleep deprived and sore, I must admit, there were a few times when I would look back at my life from not so long ago, with somewhat of a nostalgia. Not because I didn't appreciate this cute little bundle that had just gotten added in our lives. No, I was and am, so very thankful and grateful for it. But just nostalgic about the life we had lived just as a couple so far. I was having transition troubles.

And then I used to wonder: In India, everyone says a child cements the bonds that hold a marriage together. What I experienced was quite the opposite. For one, the initial days were so stressful and exhausting. I found out I'm not a very amiable or optimistic person when I haven't slept much for days. And the traditional outlook of children being just pure, overwhelming joy of bonding was in such stark contrast with what I was experiencing- it made me worry sometimes- am I the only one who's having a hard time? For whom this exquisite joy has come bundled in exhaustion to the verge of depression?

Then the other day i was reading this book: Brain Rules for children 0-5 by John Medina and there's a quote about conclusion of study by the Journal of Family Psychology: "In sum, parenthood hastens marital decline - even among relatively satisfied couples who select themselves into the transition." It seems most of the parents experience being overwhelmed by the thrust of responsibilities and sudden lack of even a moment for themselves, least of all for each other.

But it's not all hopeless. In fact situations improve quickly. And discovering and going through these incredible changes together does form a bonding relationship. Just don't expect that to happen in the first month of the baby.

4 am changes

The fact that I was just about to say "this morning.." is itself a big change. Till about 4 months ago 4am and near-about would be logged as "last night" in my books. But no more. Those tables turned sometime back.

Moving on. This morning's diaper change turned quite interesting. It started off routinely. I got the little girl on the changing pad - which is lined with changing pad cover replete with thick waterproof lining - and also an additional second layer I add as a just-in-case measure. I got the girl to the changing pad. She was fussing a little bit, and I thought that must be because she's just very sleepy. (Kids are strange that way.. They get fussy also when they're sleepy. I'm sure veteran parents would wonder what's strange about that- that's as well known a fact as the earth is round. But it used to amuse me somewhat initially. I used to think, what's so difficult about sleeping? I mean, shouldn't it be hard wired in us.. Feel sleepy? Sleep! Feel like pooping? Poop! Anyhow, I digress)

So, I was changing the little girl. I removed the old diaper. Turned to dispose it. Turned back. And came face to face with a mustard yellow pool about 4-5 inches in diameter on the changing pad. I yelped in surprise! But then I have that extra layer of cover just for such occasions. I actually felt pretty smug about myself for that instant! All I have to do is remove this small cover that can be washed separately, and continue as usual.

I proceeded to open a new diaper, looked up, and was facing yet another 5 inches in diameter mustard yellow puddle. You have to be a newborn parent to get a clear understanding of what exactly mustard yellow color is.. Even if you're an artist or otherwise consider yourself an connoisseur of colors.

By this time, I was laughing so hard at the irony of my own smugness, that Raj woke up from his sleep to ask what happened. The little girl was looking at me with mischeveous eyes. We're sharing the puddle joke together it seems. Also seemed like the joke was totally on me.

By this time I gave up on the usual rituals of applying protective diaper creme et cetera and hastily switched my strategy to containment.

Never know what surprises you find these days!

Glass half empty and leaking..

Ever since motherhood, I've discovered new levels in the state of being tired, that I never knew existed!

So, when they say life's a big discovery, this is what they meant?

It reminds me of certain days from my childhood when we would have gone on some outing, perhaps for the whole day, come back home completely exhausted, and my mom would then go to the kitchen and prepare dinner for everyone. And more often than not, we'll have company too. I used to wonder how she does it then. I still wonder today. I see my life heading into her shoes, and I don't quite like it. Sorry for the negativity but optimism is just too much work right now..

All The Problems In The World

I've just discovered there's no problem in the world that can't be solved by bigger flanges. I'm tackling world hunger next.

Valentines Day

Valentines' day just passed us by last week, and I was meaning to say this:
I'm positive no one can guess who is my absolute favorite this year, my darling companion and beloved sweetheart. My heat pad!

Blame it on the ...

Yesterday as I was preparing to turn in for the night, I took off my contact lenses and put them in their case. Was about to fill the case with fresh contact lens fluid to clean and disinfect the lenses through the night, when I realized the fluid bottle had finished. I took out a fresh fluid bottle which also came with new case to keep the lenses in.. I mused this might be a good time to use a new case, so filled the new case with lens fluid and kept it safely in my bathroom drawers. And put the old case in trash.

This morning when I was ready to put my lenses on again, what do I find? The new contact lens case has fresh fluid but no lens. Checked the case I put in trash yesterday.. It had the lenses but no fluid!

As always I blame it on the breastfeeding.. The forgetfulness. What irks me is that all those DHA laden walnuts are not quite working out, it seems ( DHA is a derivative of Omega 3 fatty acid and promotes brain development in fetus, growing babies/kids and their moms).

Blowing Raspberies

There's a new phrase quite popular at the house these days: blowing raspberries. The credit for the term goes to Suhaana's dad, but the story began a fee days ago.

At home, we keep trying to do new things to keep the little girl entertained and interested. One such thing is to make the choicest sounds with the mouth. Lately, we tried the br-br-brrrr sound made when you put your lips tight together and blow hard. It reminds me of a noisy motorcycle. It amuses the little girl big time! But we hadn't really estimated how much it intrigued her till the other day, after listening to the sound intently for quite sometime, she decided to imitate it herself. But as she's been drooling quite a bit these days, the br-br-brr sound came with accompanying bubbles of saliva! It was hilarious to watch her do it every time blowing a fountain of spit.

We laugh uncontrollably while she tries the new sound game over and over. Today, she started practicing all on her own, during her early morning diaper change. She has a day full of games and activities and has no time to waste after all!

Role Model

These days I would be talking, or eating or busy looking something up on the laptop and I would notice this little girl would be intently watching me. Almost unblinkingly.

I know babies are avid watchers, they learn social skills and interactions by being face watchers. Social skills is something they continue to pick up, until much later into the childhood years. That's why over use of technology such as texting or Internet chat is bad for kids, cause it doesn't allow for good social face-to-face interactions.

But the way the little girl watches me, I just hope I'm doing everything right and not being a role model of what not to do.

Hell hath..

Hell hath no fury nor disappointment and sorrow than that of a mother over her spilled milk...

Therapy

If I read what I'm about to say a year back, I would have rolled on the floor laughing.. quite literally. But, getting away from home long enough to run all the errands, coming back home with all the groceries needed (for now anyway), and taking out all the trash is such a great feeling! Right next to the therapeutic kitchen cleaning (another realization I was holding back on)!

Makes me feel how life has completely changed. Nobody warned me it would to such a degree. But then some things don't really hit home till you live through them.

On the other hand, if I knew this before hand, would I do anything any different. Certainly not.

Milestone Rollover -Part 2

Suhaana had cracked the code for rolling over from her tummy to back sometime ago. Mainly it was a discovery born out of her deep dislike of forced tummy time. She was glad she found a way to wiggle out of them. But this week she cracked the more tricky back-to-tummy code. Here's how it happened:

When we lay Suhaana down on her play-mat, she tends turns on her side. Often it is just so she can follow some bright lights or a person of keen interest (usually translates to her grand mother). I didn't really pay much attention to it till a couple days back she started leaning on to her side so much that she almost fell on her tummy. Almost there but not quite. Her hand would get stuck somehow.

But he little girl is quite a fighter. She kept trying and trying.. Rolling back on her back and then leaning on the side again to get some momentum.. I should probably mention that at this point both her grandmother and I were hovering like busy bees over her play-mat egging her on!

And then suddenly it worked. Due to the momentum, she finally landed on her tummy. I think she herself was a little stunned what happened.. But while she was musing over 'How'd I end up here', I was all over her! Loading her with hugs and kisses at an important milestone reached! Now I can answer "How's Suhaana?" questions with a proud "She rolls over" response.

Infuriating!

I'm running seriously behind on stuff to report, but this little thing that happened today sticks out like a sore thumb. Until I catch up on momentous achievements with Suhaana that happened a couple days ago, here's some angry ranting coming your way.

I got a phone call today from a recruiter. After the initial "Am I speaking to" so-n-so.. He asked me where I'm currently working. I replied I'm currently on maternity leave. To which, he enquired "Really? Since when?". When I said since October, he informed me "Then that should be fine."

I just haven't been able to get it out of my head since this afternoon. Since when does a recruiter decide how long is 'enough' for me to spend with my baby before I'm to be termed as officially 'outdated' in his cookie cutter opinion? It's just infuriating how tactless people can be! And how effortlessly they sprinkle their implied opinions.

Dress Up, Get Set and Go

We went to meet our friends tonight and the biggest challenge was getting out of the house. It's such a cliche that girls take a long time to get dressed. My girl took the longest but not for the expected reasons.

It didn't start all that well. For beginners, Suhaana hates wearing anything with sleeves. But as a parent I'm ever the daring and hopeful dreamer. Not to mention I have agendas of my own.

When it was time to get her ready to go out, I was eager for her to try the new black polka dot dress that her aunt (my close friend) gifted recently. My little girl in black n white polka-dot dress with a pink rose flower! Oh I'd been looking forward to this all week! The problem? Full sleeves.

I somehow got her in a white onsie and then, literally shoved the dress down her neck. She was not happy and not shy to say as much( read: loud angry crying going on). Then, I realized that he dress is actually too short and should be worn with black tights. I sort of remembered some reference of tights when receiving the gift, but in front of this cute dress any other memory is pale. Also, Suhaana doesn't have black tights yet.

Anyhow, I proceeded to take her dress off and go for another dress (sleeve-less) which had been tried before. But the harm had been done and Suhaana was mighty pissed.

All my feelings of accomplishment were drained when in the end, after the dress fiasco I realized it's quite cold outside and Suhaana needs to wear a sweater and pants (hence obliterating the need of a dress - she could be wearing anything under the sweater).

Suhaana was so mad by the end of her dressing-up stage that we hastened to strap her in the car seat, load the car and get going. A moving car is the biggest pacifier.

As soon as we reached our friends and they saw Suhaana, the first thing they say? You didn't put any socks on for her?

Week of firsts

Last week was a week of firsts. Suhaana went to a lake for the first time. She saw a dog for the first time (she'd had plenty opportunities earlier but she preferred sleeping on the stroller than make four legged friends).

She went to the mall for the very first time.

But more momentous moments came at home. Yesterday she did away with her the bath tub sling.

Her bath tub used to have a sling for newborns much like a hammock while taking a bath. Sitting in the bath tub requires head control (therefore neck muscles), and strong back muscles so as to not fall sideways.

Couple of weeks earlier, Suhaana was still falling off sideways, and the sling was re-employed. But as of yesterday, she's graduated from the sling and enter - bath tub.

No photos please.

Eating Binges

One unexpected change that has come upon me is my diet and appetite. Now, when one reports appetite changes it usually goes to say how the appetite has reduced. But in my case, it's the opposite.

Last night, long after everyone was done with the dinner, I felt like I've just barely begun. I went for another round. Followed by another. I even coaxed the others to join in and take another serving. Partly it was just so I don't feel like I'm hogging big time! But alas, no one else jumped on the bandwagon.

Good news is that I have a scapegoat in the name of breastfeeding to blame these eating binges on. Bad news is.. For how long?

I Needed a Haircut

Ever since Suhaana has gotten the art of grasping down, she's not letting things get away anymore. Plus, she clutches things like she really means to: tight and firm.

Lately, her favorite thing to clutch and pull? My hair.

But as of last week and post haircut, my hair are heaving a sigh of relief. Too short to be in her grasp anymore, they feel like they barely made it!

And the strange thing is that..

Somehow when I don't write, I have nothing to say. But once I write, I keep remembering things that I neglected to mention, and details that I haven't yet jotted down. Strange!

Milestone - rollover

As this week draws to a close, there was a big milestone that Suhaana made that I haven't yet mentioned.

Last week, as I was giving little Suhaana her oil massage, I put her on her tummy for tummy time. Now, even though tummy time is good for babies to help them develop good head and neck control and motor skills, it's not Suhaana's favorite time of the day.

Earlier, when she was younger, as soon as we used to put her for tummy time, she used to go all red in the face and visibly unhappy. It used to scare me, as if we're hurting her. Checked with her doctor and got the prognosis that she's just mad because it's mildly uncomfortable.

But lately she's been doing exceedingly good! But the best came when I was giving her an oil massage last week and put her on her tummy, she kept sort of fidgeting, being mildly uncomfortable. And then as she was leaning on to one side, before either of us realized she turned over from tummy to back. I was thrilled but the suspicious.. Wad this a real rollover or was it a fluke? So, I got her on her tummy again. And she did it again!
At this point I was like going wild cheering her on! She rolled over with such ease that she was probably looking at me and wondering was the hoopla was all about. Nevertheless, I was thrilled.

Now, as I look back and write this, and contemplate a working life outside of home, I wonder how many of her milestones I might miss by just not being around.

Magical

Even now, though Suhaana is barely 3 months old, as I sift through some photos of Suhaana taken when she was just born, it just amazes me how very tiny she was. And how magical it was, and still is, to hold her in my arms.

One...Two...Threeee

Suhaana and her grand mother have a new game. To an onlooker it may not seem like anything at all, but the participants and usually giggling silly.

The game is unbelievably simple. All her grand mother does is say, "Onee... Two..." (stretching out the syllables as long as they would go). A pause of anticipation followed by a gleeful "Threeee". Suhaana is besides herself with giggles and laughs.

Actually it started a few days ago. Her grand mom would count till three and on three she would lift little Suhaana in the air. Little girl was enjoying it so much that from two she could barely contain the anticipation.. Soon, the game was all about what's coming next. So much so that it didn't even matter to her that no one is really lifting her up in the air anymore. Somehow the anticipation was hilarious in itself. For both Suhaana and her grandmother.

For the onlookers it's hard to decide who's the little girl in the game.

Cracking the Code

Yesterday we were just getting ready to call it a night. The kitchen was clean. Dishwasher was loaded and set to start in the night. Bedroom lights were off. Night lamp had reported for duty. Suhaana was in her sleep sack and aboard her crib for the night. I had just opened the bedroom balcony door to spend a few peaceful minutes of an unusually mild night (for this time of the year). Raj and I sat a few balmy minutes in silence under the stars.

Suddenly, Suhaana let out an urgent scream. Both of us started, wondering what happened. It lasted for about 2 seconds at the end of which she was about as fast asleep as she was before it. We both stared at each other in bemused amazement with the same question in our eyes -what happened? As she went back to sleep I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head.

But I've given it some more thought during the day. I think I've cracked the code:

Suhaana is an avid dreamer. And routinely meets up with her favorite friend - monkey in her dreams. Usually he's an interesting little fellow but occasionally he tries to act super smart and take her milk bottle and run away. Such behavior calls for a vehement if not quite audible outrage.. But then, she realizes it was just a dream. The bottle is still around. Heaves a sigh of relief and heads back to sleep...

Defenseless

Isn't it strange how a small little baby, even though defenseless and barely able to move her own head, can really move maintains. Get into a family gathering and no matter how many people there are, somehow everyone revolves around the little baby. It's like they were created with some special powers over us adults.

It reminds me of a Hindu mythological tale about lord Shiva and his consort and wife Parvati.

Once Parvati was furious and her anger was burning the world. All the gods tried all measures to pacify her but failed. They finally went up to Shiva to plead him to calm her down. Lord Shiva knew if he were to get in front of Parvati in her rage, he'll be burnt to ashes as well. So, he assumed the form of a defenseless, powerless, small baby and appeared in front of Parvati. On seeing the baby crying, her rage was instantly extinguished and she ran to comfort and love the crying baby.